Comments on: A Mental Health Mantra for Parents and Kids

By: Ruth Mason

Ruth Mason — Sun, 16 Jun 2019 06:12:55 +0000

Hi Janet. I see now that I’ve read this before but it felt like the first time just now. We can’t hear these things often enough! Hannah just posted it as must reading on our Israel RIE group. I read it out loud to my husband last night and he thought it was unrealistic. What do you do, he said, when you’re doing dishes and your toddler is pulling at your leg and screaming? You’ve acknowledged, accepted, but he’s still screaming and can keep this up for a long time. Hard to keep
Your cool in such circumstances, he said. I’d love your thoughts.

By: Chava

Chava — Sun, 16 Jun 2019 04:03:47 +0000

In reply to janet. What happens when 5yr old starts kicking out of anger abt something? Holding him (with “i wont let you kick me”) doesnt work, only makes him kick harder the second he is released.

By: Candice Scofield

Candice Scofield — Fri, 14 Jun 2019 15:52:48 +0000

I saw this post at exactly the right time! I have been struggling with a child in my care who will meltdown at the most random times, screaming at a pitch that seems to hit my nervous system and freezes me and I forget everything I can do for her. To be the calm anchor in the storm. This is going to help. Thank you Janet!

By: Erica

Erica — Fri, 14 Jun 2019 05:55:43 +0000

In reply to Anna. Generally children are not logical or reasonable when they're sharing big emotions, so it's not helpful to try to reason with them at that time. It can also come off as though the feelings they're having about whatever it is are inappropriate since (xyz reason). I suppose we can think of how we would like to be responded to when we are being fussy and unreasonable. Generally explanations don't help me as much as empathy does.

By: Margie

Margie — Sun, 03 Feb 2019 16:52:32 +0000

In reply to Odalys. Dr Thomas Gordon is a pioneer in active listening, I am glad you mentioned it, his approach is very helpful not only in parenting but in all relationships. I recommend his books. I relate to Amanda as I struggle communicating with my adult son. Communication is a skill that needs ongoing learning and practice, is challenging when you are the only one making the effort when it comes to adults.

By: janet

janet — Sat, 02 Feb 2019 16:32:05 +0000

In reply to Jeanie. Thanks, Jeanie. Why do you think Emily's daughter wished to stay in a highchair at the table?

By: Jeanie

Jeanie — Fri, 01 Feb 2019 15:51:16 +0000

Hi, I enjoyed the post. Bit am confused by Emily’s story. Why wasn’t she allowed to sit at the table until she was ready to leave? Can’t say I’d like it if someone moved me from my dinner table

By: Leigh

Leigh — Sat, 25 Aug 2018 02:04:14 +0000

Great article, as usual! This strategy works well when I can identify what’s bothering my 3yo daughter. What should I say/do when I’m not sure why my daughter is crying or having a tantrum?

By: Andrea

Andrea — Fri, 23 Feb 2018 13:27:37 +0000

Hi! I love your approach, it makes sense to me and feels fair, however my husband is not 100% on board because he feels that if we let our son “feel” too much and not teach him some things are not worth crying of fussing about he might become a whiner or an overly emotional person. Do you have any evidence or reason why this wont necessarily happen? Thanks!

By: Marcia Walker

Marcia Walker — Fri, 23 Feb 2018 08:15:38 +0000

I love how this article also addresses the disconnect that parents experience after coming home from work. At work we are in a constant “achieve” space and I find on the drive home that I have to consciously switch my brain into “being”. Otherwise I just want to get things done when I get home, and it always upsets my twins and has the opposite effect!