Comments on: Respectful Parenting – It’s Weird, But It Works

By: Jacqui

Jacqui — Tue, 19 May 2020 01:13:09 +0000

In reply to janet. Just thought I'd add a to the lovely exchange between you both and a beautiful article. Thank you

By: janet

janet — Wed, 28 Feb 2018 22:10:40 +0000

In reply to Linda. Aww, this is all wonderful, Linda, and reminds me of experiences I had with my own children. Imagine how it feels to a child to be enjoyed! And to make her parents proud. Thanks so much for sharing with me.

By: janet

janet — Wed, 28 Feb 2018 22:08:28 +0000

In reply to Rachel Goette. My pleasure, Rachel. Thank you for reading!

By: Rachel Goette

Rachel Goette — Wed, 28 Feb 2018 21:59:47 +0000

What a beautiful article. Thank you for the guidance and inspiration.

By: Linda

Linda — Wed, 28 Feb 2018 19:32:47 +0000

I love this! I realized I was a weird parent when I met two of my Mom friends (one with a year old and one with a 4 and 16 month) and my two year old daughter sat still, ate her food, didn’t throw any on the floor, my phone remained in my bag (let’s just also mention how the screens between the other three kids seemed to create a lot more work for my friends than I seemed to be doing sans screen time ), she said please and thank you(it’s not RIE but my husband is British and this was really important to him) to the waitress and helped me clean her chair and table area before we left. I love my friends and they are good moms, I’m not judging them but they both seemed uncomfortable and annoyed at a most of the things their kids did, and didn’t seem to be having a nice time.

Thank you Janet for your resources and encouragement ! It’s made ALL the difference in my parenting journey. I’m about to have a second baby in 6 weeks and people keep saying am I sure I want two and get ready for chaos (well meaning I am sure but still) i know I will have the skills to acknowledge my daughters emotions about the baby in a calm and respectful way.

By: Sara

Sara — Mon, 22 Feb 2016 18:50:18 +0000

Regarding “weird” item #1, I have watched my own mother absolutely bombarding my daughter from infancy with random strings of loud sounds in an attempt to connect with her. My mother adores her granddaughter and will do anything for her, but even I get overwhelmed by the crazy energy and almost inane attempts at “communication” and stimulation that lack any real connection. As my daughter has become older (she is now 3), she loves her nana – but she also will ask for space when all of the babble and exaggerated sounds (which still continue to this day) become too much. I’m guessing my own sense of overwhelm stems from my own babyhood of being talked at instead of talked with. This has definitely had a life-long impact on me. Reading your work has helped me understand this about my past and has helped me modify my behavior with my own child.

By: Tasha

Tasha — Mon, 22 Feb 2016 04:09:32 +0000

Yes! I do get judgey vibes from being “weird” Especially from the in-laws. They treated us to lunch, my 3 yr old ordered chocolate milk. As he is served the milk my one yr old screamed and pulled on him (obviously asking for his milk), grandpa IMMEDIATELY tells my boy he must share his milk with his sister. I felt bad contradicting but I am focusing much more lately on really trying to see from my son’s perspective. I said, “This is Jayden’s milk, It’s his choice… Jayden, Jasmine would like some of your milk, will you give her some?” He said, “No.” I said, “okay.” And whoo-weee the grandparents gave me a look!! Jasmine fussed, but I explained that it was his milk. And she got over it.
My favorite part? After a few minutes, when it was no longer a hot topic, he offered his sister a drink. I had to hold my tongue from saying, “See?!!? See???? My kid is not a selfish brat! Now go take your judgey looks somewhere else.”

By: janet

janet — Thu, 05 Mar 2015 15:04:49 +0000

In reply to Wendy Lim. Weird is the best! You're going to love it

By: Wendy Lim

Wendy Lim — Thu, 05 Mar 2015 07:13:25 +0000

Janet, I can’t wait to get ‘weird’!!!!

By: Sasha

Sasha — Thu, 19 Feb 2015 05:27:13 +0000

Janet, I love reading your articles and I try my best to respectfully parent my daughter (1y 10mo). However where it breaks down for me it is when we need to hurry. I have to be at work at a certain time and then since our commute takes an hour on public transportation, we have to get home without too much dawdling so that I can make dinner and put her to bed at a reasonable hour. So when she would rather walk than ride in the stroller, or go in a different direction than the one we’re going into, or doesn’t want to get off the train–I often have to just swoop her up and force her to comply kicking and screaming. I always explain why we need to do something and tell her ahead of time what the next thing is that we’re doing, but sometimes she just wants to do her own thing no matter what and I don’t have time for that. We’ve been taking the same route and have the same routine since she was a baby, so she so it’s not like there are any surprises. She just wants to do her own thing sometimes. I would like to honor her interests and wishes, but there just isn’t time for that in some cases. Do you have any advice?