What if you give them something to kick or hit instead? Like a ball or a pillow

I also have a 3 year old who hit and kicks deliberately and thinks its a game. Particularly if I try to stop him, whether it be by hold up a hand in front of me or holding his wrists, etc. He laughs and tries harder. It hurts! This often ends with him in his room. Not sure how to handle this in any other way.

Yes, my almost 5 yr old hits and kicks deliberately and thinks its a game. If i block and say i wont let you hit me, he thinks its a game and keeps trying. I end up walking him to his room bc i dont want to be hit and its not safe, but i feel like thats a “punishement”. Not sure how to navigate. Other example is when he keeps pushig our 2yr old and also finds it funny but baby is screaming and not happy.

Marian, you are so lovely and I feel like I should be paying you for all your kind endorsements! Seriously, I’m beyond thrilled that Magda Gerber’s approach has helped you as much as it has me. Thank you for sharing so honestly and generously. You blow me away! With gratitude and affection, Janet

Emily, I hope you won’t mind my jumping in, as I, too, wish I had found this earlier: not because there were different ways with a younger child, but because I would have happier parenting memories and my daughter would have had a more capable Mom.

You can absolutely start now with all that is on this site. Really really listen to or read and reread this podcast: it’s your intention, your way of being and it has nothing to do with the behavior of the child: Janet discusses in another post how she responded to an 80-year-old man with the same unruffled empathy and respect, even though she felt uncomfortable with shame, and the interaction between the two was as beautiful as your four-year-old and you working on whatever she is working on.

Scour this site. Really. I LOVE being a Mom, now, because I understand where my daughter is coming from and I know the guidance here is how I want to be in the world and with myself. There will be small changes in your choice of words and sense of situation, then you will notice everyday it’s like a bicycle and you find yourself able to pedal faster and faster without losing your balance and you can even fly down hills without fear because you are so adept with the brakes and defensive cycling. And yet, and yet, the days are a calmer ride and the hills and valleys smoothe out. I welcome “issues” because I get to help my daughter on a deep level and it’s love on a really deep level.

I SO wish I had found this site in the months before my daughter was born, but I just say to myself, for consolation, at least she is not full grown and out of the house: I still have many years ahead of us and I never rush a day anymore. I am enjoying “getting this” : )