Comments on: Dr. Gabor Maté on Why Parents Matter More Than Ever

By: Em

Em — Tue, 16 Apr 2024 22:24:11 +0000

In reply to Susan. Thank you for sharing your thoughts! They are deep and well spoken. Everyone has their visions as to what great parenting looks like. What matters is what works best for each person! I personally think that the ideas they presented, in this podcast, were on the money. The ideal environment for us to live and grow in doesn't change just because politics and economics does. I understand a lot of parents feel shame and judged for not being more available to their kids and use technology. Feeling ashamed doesn't make technology any better for us or lack not enough time spent. They are presenting well studied/researched thoughts. You can agree or not and it doesn't make them wrong.

By: Sophia Desjardins

Sophia Desjardins — Tue, 16 Apr 2024 19:09:50 +0000

In reply to Susan. I agree Susan, I found this episode to be deeply confusing. There are so many things we are told we should not do—don’t use screens, don’t send your kids to outside care if you can afford not to, don’t try to curb problematic behavior, etc. There aren’t a lot of affirmative do’s—in lieu of using screens, go Amish? In lieu of sending kids to non-home based care, quit your job and bring the kids along while we forage for nuts and seeds? In lieu of curbing problematic behavior, recognize that you are the “adult”, the apotheosis of evolution who can calmly accept all behavior without ever having an emotional reaction? I think Maté’s criticisms of the way we live in the west is valid, but it’s pretty easy to critique and it’s a lot harder to make systemic change. Rather than criticize parents it would do better to instruct parents on how to form political action committees to make the real changes to the support environment to enable the best parenting possible. It’s not natural for kids to spend 24 hours a day with just their nuclear family unit, let alone their “super-mom” only, that doesn’t sound like RIE philosophy. I walked away from this episode feeing disempowered and bummed.

By: KM

KM — Tue, 09 Apr 2024 02:48:25 +0000

What an absolutely sensational episode. I really enjoyed it (and your next one) and plan to read more.

By: Susan

Susan — Sat, 06 Apr 2024 20:19:10 +0000

Really did not vibe with this episode, Gabor I usually like but in this context, speaking of the practicalities of parenting, he and Janet come across as super judgmental and extreme in their take. With Gabor romanticising Budapest laneways where parents were “always watching from balconies” seemed a bit crass and unlikely. Studies show many parents (especially listeners of this podcast) spend much more time with their kids than ever before and yet I came away from listening to this feeling burned out and exhausted by the expectations of their proposals. Perhaps it’s better for them to maintain the frame of modern life and the lack of economic support for parents to enable a village, rather than individually prescribe parenting tools that expect parents to not use daycare, not use technology and generally berate themselves for not being switched on 100% of the day, Surely they understand that for many of us our village is daycare and the carers are often more qualified and nurturing than your typical 1950s mother half-assed peering down from a laneway balcony. Gabor has great ideas but he sounds like a pseudoscience anti feminist in this podcast. Is he merely promoting women not having jobs?Also you’ve both said yourselves you never had to deal with technology with raising kids so there is an immediate lack of understanding and personal experience there as to how parents do and don’t engage. The worst part for me was the intimation that even looking at your phone while pushing a buggy was damaging your kid. Nonsense and judgmental ridiculousness. For sure there are parents not paying attention to their kids, but those are not your listeners. Some of us get 30mins in a day to engage with the outside world and that may be when your kid is happily looking out to the world beyond while you send an email or play a podcast.

I think if Janet wasn’t fangirling so hard she might’ve pushed back on some of this dribble but it definitely wreaked of “go back to the kitchen” days of Bill and Martha Sears who founded attachment parenting.

By: Avneet Kaur Dhanoa

Avneet Kaur Dhanoa — Wed, 03 Apr 2024 17:10:03 +0000

Two of my favorites in one sitting – thank you both for the work that you do, for helping parents become better versions of themselves and in turn, show up in much healthier ways for their children.