Comments on: 5 Reasons Toddlers Don’t Need ‘Redirection’ (And What To Do Instead)

By: Ashley

Ashley — Tue, 04 Apr 2023 18:55:24 +0000

In reply to Tansy. Yes, I was confused by the article when it was describing “redirection” as distraction and “what to do instead” was my perception of what limit setting and redirection is.

By: Kylie

Kylie — Thu, 26 May 2022 21:29:45 +0000

In reply to Amy.

Wow, distraction has been my instinctive ‘go-to’ forEVER! 30 years ago as a (very!) young mum to my with my extremely active wilful wild son… and now, as guardian/ foster mum to his slightly less active and wild (but just as wilful!) daughter.
She’s been with me since 2 1/2 – is now 4, and I am just embracing your beautiful teachings…
Like I said, distraction is practically instinctive for me – I have to be sooo present and disciplined to not automatically go there..
It was extremely effective in avoiding behaviours I was Ill equip to deal with as a young mother a long time ago, but now I can see how much more honest, respectful and – in the long run – effective, your methods are.
Thank you!

By: Grace

Grace — Wed, 23 Mar 2022 05:21:08 +0000

In reply to Belinda. Not true, I have spent the past five years working with infants and toddlers, ages 7 weeks to 1.5 years. The tactic in this article works. Infants don’t get a lot of credit, they understand so much more that people think. Our actions speak volumes. When we talk things through with them, they absolutely have a grasp on what’s happening. They understand limits like “Look but don’t touch” or “Please be gentle” and “You need to wait” and they understand better ways to communicate like with signs or special words like More and Please. It takes patience and practice but they learn so quickly and there is absolutely no need to wait until they’re two. Honestly waiting that long will probably cause more harm. They will not have learned anything by then, just that you will let them have and do anything.

By: nope

nope — Sat, 04 Sep 2021 13:25:19 +0000

In reply to Mary Linton. Oh wow I could not have disagreed with you more. So funny to me when someone offers an advice to other moms “try this it will work (because it works /worked on my now well behaved full grown kids)” Every child is different. Every child’s development is different. This “your way” may work on some of your readers’ kids if their kids’ development is as fast as yours. Treat them like adults? No that is a garbage advice

By: Jennifer Douglass

Jennifer Douglass — Thu, 03 Dec 2020 20:28:12 +0000

I feel like your definition fo redirection is too narrowly defined. I’m an early child professional working with infants and toddlers and their parents. I would describe your initial example of what you should say and do ( “I won’t let you draw on the sofa. Here’s some paper if you want to draw,” )as “redirection.” More so than the second example of suggesting drawing a silly face. By letting the child know where they are allowed to draw, you are redirecting them from the sofa, to the paper. Redirection doesn’t have to include phoniness, and it doesn’t have to be over the top. You’re right that at that at the point where the adult is becoming artificially cheery or jumping through hoops to entertain, it becomes more about distracting the child from their feelings, than setting appropriate limits. When working with parents of young children, I use the term “redirection” to refer to the second step in setting a limit. First I let the child know the rule, then I let them know what they can do instead. “You can’t play alone in the front yard, but you can go into the backyard alone.” “I’m not offering juice to drink right now, but I can get you water.” “I can’t let you climb on the table, but you can climb over here (on a climber, or a pile of cushions, or whatever safe alternative can be made available).” Letting the child know which behaviors are appropriate and allowed falls under the definition of redirection, and it feels unnecessarily argumentative to claim otherwise. Your reasons are all valid in regards to the form of over-the-top distraction that some parents resort to in attempting to avoid their child’s negative feelings, but I don’t think it makes sense to assume that that is what most people are referring to when they suggest redirection as a form of limit setting for young children.

By: Anick

Anick — Fri, 23 Aug 2019 03:28:15 +0000

In reply to Jessica.

About that….isn’t not saying anything to a child that explores a ‘safe’ plug let them think it’s ok to do so and generalize to unsafe plugs (for example when on visit somewhere). I am having trouble with that one….
The entire main floor is a safe space however I feel I need to teach my toddler about possible dangers?

By: Kamethia

Kamethia — Fri, 09 Feb 2018 15:47:45 +0000

What a great article! I prefer being “real” with my children from the start as well. I think being phony with a young child and always redirecting(, creates an adolescent who can’t deal with life…always crying, having hurt feelings when anyone says anything that is not “redirecting” to him. In this real world that we live in very few middle and high school peers and teachers will take time to redirect anyone. Moving forward to life after high school…..that’s when people, who lack the ability to deal with this very “real” struggle in the pool of life, have to sink or swim. Start babies off from the beginning teaching them how to swim…no life jackets…no phoni-ness..anyways that’s my opinion :))

By: Coral Zantopoulos

Coral Zantopoulos — Sun, 04 Feb 2018 01:19:53 +0000

I agree with what you explain in the article but I don’t care for the title. You still use redirection in your solutions. Telling them no you can’t draw on the sofa but you can draw on this paper is a form of redirection. Saying you can use the toy when the other child is done , and ask if they want to use antihero you while they wait, is also redirecting still. This is how i redirect, I tell them the rule and the truth of what they can’t do and why but offer them a safe alternative. This is redirection.

By: Leslie

Leslie — Wed, 21 Sep 2016 15:00:13 +0000

If your example is what people do then I agree that they are doing it wrong. Of course you start with talking about that it’s not okay to draw on the sofa and that doing so is unacceptable. The point is, especially with toddlers, power struggles never work and just increase frustration which will increase misbehavior. The best thing you can do is remain calm. Get up off the couch, put your phone down and move the toddler interrupting the behavior. The worst example I see (and I see it a lot) is a parent on the other side of the room, phone in hand who is trying to change behavior by yelling (and cursing) from afar. A young toddler has little ability to use logic so disruption and distraction are the best you can do most of the time. Hopefully you were providing enough supervision that the marker ever made it to the sofa in the first place. (58 yr old mom, Montessori instructor and professional Nanny)

By: Keely

Keely — Wed, 21 Sep 2016 02:46:31 +0000

I love the article and I agree with you 100%. I have been teaching toddlers for over 20 years. But I would change the would redirection to distraction. You can redirect a child exactly as you talked about. “You may not do this, but I am going to redirect you what you can do. I am not going to distract you with into doing something without any explanation” if you replaced the word redirection with distraction then maybe parents would understand it better.