Comments on: Why The Whining? (And 5 Steps To Eventual Peace) https://www.janetlansbury.com/2011/08/why-the-whining-and-4-steps-to-eventual-peace/ elevating child care Wed, 31 Aug 2022 05:27:18 +0000 hourly 1 By: Anastasia https://www.janetlansbury.com/2011/08/why-the-whining-and-4-steps-to-eventual-peace/comment-page-1/#comment-132240 Wed, 31 Aug 2022 05:27:18 +0000 http://www.janetlansbury.com/?p=4092#comment-132240 In reply to janet.

What do you mean by casual? My 15 month old looks me in the eyes all the time, except for when I get down to her level to correct her. She will go to great lengths to not look in my eyes for that

]]> By: Kayla https://www.janetlansbury.com/2011/08/why-the-whining-and-4-steps-to-eventual-peace/comment-page-1/#comment-130967 Fri, 03 Dec 2021 16:12:38 +0000 http://www.janetlansbury.com/?p=4092#comment-130967 In reply to janet.

What about in instances where my 21mo whines until I pick him up? For example, its always when I cook. Every day he whines to be picked up when im at the stove or prepping food. Ive alway been responsive to his needs since he was a baby and wanting to be near me and feeling of safe. Ive tried offering him food while i cook (not hungry), a bench to stand at the counter so he can help (worked for a while but now just climbs the counter, he wont sit in highchair, I put toys in the kitchen etc. Any advice?

]]> By: Gabby J https://www.janetlansbury.com/2011/08/why-the-whining-and-4-steps-to-eventual-peace/comment-page-1/#comment-129544 Mon, 21 Sep 2020 21:58:56 +0000 http://www.janetlansbury.com/?p=4092#comment-129544 In reply to janet.

Hi Janet. I have an ‘in between’ sort of qu about my just-turned 1 year old who has just started this seriously irritating whining behaviour. Most of the time, he seems to want my full attention as it does stop when I provide him with it. Your post is helping me to get on top of it early, especially to ‘fill his cup’ as much as I can. What can occur though, is that sometimes, I’m doing something (e.g. washing up after a meal, on the phone) with every intention of giving him my undivided attention when I’m done), but then the whining starts. And I’ve finished my task and am fully able to give him that attention. But now I’m afraid to, in case he sees that attention it as a consequence – or a victory for his whining. What do you suggest in this sort of scenario?

]]> By: Rachael https://www.janetlansbury.com/2011/08/why-the-whining-and-4-steps-to-eventual-peace/comment-page-1/#comment-129527 Fri, 18 Sep 2020 02:51:42 +0000 http://www.janetlansbury.com/?p=4092#comment-129527 In reply to Marie.

Hoping to see a reply to this as this is my 15month old too. I struggle so much to do basic housework and make sure he’s given time and focus to fill his cup but still, he whines and constantly wants up and squeals/whines if I don’t pick him up.

]]> By: Maria https://www.janetlansbury.com/2011/08/why-the-whining-and-4-steps-to-eventual-peace/comment-page-1/#comment-129467 Sat, 29 Aug 2020 22:17:25 +0000 http://www.janetlansbury.com/?p=4092#comment-129467 In reply to janet.

This is such a wonderful explanation of whining. I also love how you suggest handling it. I’m so tired of the gentle parenting advocates claiming that whining is all about connection and if you connect you can just fix all the whining. It’s so much more than that. I use similar methods with my son by telling him I can’t understand him and to please use his normal voice.

]]> By: Cameron Kralik https://www.janetlansbury.com/2011/08/why-the-whining-and-4-steps-to-eventual-peace/comment-page-1/#comment-129154 Sat, 13 Jun 2020 17:29:27 +0000 http://www.janetlansbury.com/?p=4092#comment-129154 Hello, my fiance is having a similar issue. From the moment she wakes up, her daughter is at her heels crying and whining all day about really anything and everything. She cannot walk away, look at her phone, change the channel on the TV, cook a meal, go pee, really she cannot accomplish anything without her daughter having a full on breakdown. She has too much guilt to reach out and ask for some advice and assistance. Some background that may go along with it: she gives into everything that she cries for and wants. She always speaks to her in a very high voice and loving way. She is 100% of the time giving her undivided attention. What can she/ we do to help both of them. I want my fiance to be able to have peace of mind, and the young one to be more independent. I will appreciate any advice at all! Thanks in advance for all of those that take their personal time to respond.

]]> By: Maria https://www.janetlansbury.com/2011/08/why-the-whining-and-4-steps-to-eventual-peace/comment-page-1/#comment-128369 Tue, 14 Jan 2020 13:15:36 +0000 http://www.janetlansbury.com/?p=4092#comment-128369 Today my 4 year old whined ALL morning. She woke up early from a bad dream and then was just in a terrible mood the entire time. It was extremely hard to get her dressed and out the door, and all ended up being late. I did recognize and acknowledge her feelings from the get go. Held her, gave her a safe space to cry, named her emotions, gave her some time to go through them, tried using humor as a distraction, tried being playful, all the stuff I could think of! But nothing seemed to help today. Eventually I just had to physically dress her and carry her out the door. What can I do on days like these when nothing seems to work? 🙁

]]> By: Shlendie https://www.janetlansbury.com/2011/08/why-the-whining-and-4-steps-to-eventual-peace/comment-page-1/#comment-128353 Wed, 08 Jan 2020 02:37:10 +0000 http://www.janetlansbury.com/?p=4092#comment-128353 I have an 18month old high needs toddler who doesn’t talk yet. When she’s home, all she does is whine and cry and cling.
I plan out activities for us to do but she looses interest in everything, even activities she previously enjoyed doing. She also doesn’t play alone and will come find me when I sneak away for a cup of tea or chore.

She understands when I ask her questions and will nod or shake her head. Has no problem telling you what she doesn’t want but not what she wants. Or maybe I’m just not getting it but it’s driving me nuts.

All day all she wants is the tv (which I limit because I can’t stand it in general but especially when she refuses to watch anything other than 2 shows over and over again). She has toys and planned activities yet the day drags on and on because I have no clue as to why she’s so bored. By the end of the day I am drained.

Open to suggestions. Thanks.

]]> By: Alicia Sullivan https://www.janetlansbury.com/2011/08/why-the-whining-and-4-steps-to-eventual-peace/comment-page-1/#comment-126964 Sun, 06 Jan 2019 07:33:04 +0000 http://www.janetlansbury.com/?p=4092#comment-126964 Hi Janet,
This is some great advice. Thank you for this “just in time” post. My 3.5yo has been doing an awful lot of whining lately. It seems however, to happen more in my presence. At the babysitter’s or even with dad, when I’m not home, he really holds it together. I know that it’s not uncommon for kids to save their emotions for Mom, but this adding a great deal of stress to our family life. Dad struggles to manage his emotions around the whiling, while I am able to let it pass. We’re spending more time apart as a result. What am I doing wrong? I haven’t found a podcast episode re: to kids acting differently for mom, but if there is one (or a post), I’d love to listen.

]]> By: Pascale https://www.janetlansbury.com/2011/08/why-the-whining-and-4-steps-to-eventual-peace/comment-page-1/#comment-126236 Sun, 10 Jun 2018 16:17:14 +0000 http://www.janetlansbury.com/?p=4092#comment-126236 My daughter is almost 3 and i love her to death. Weve been doing lots with her over the weekend. Festival parade seeing family and friends and play with our pets. But as soon as we ask her to play with her toys she starts whinning and crying. I dont know what to do and ive asked her whats wrong and she just gibber jabbers. I dont know what to do…

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