Hi Janet, my nearly 3 yr old daughter “seems” to never actually be playing. I’m a bit confused by her free time choices. She likes to stand on the living room couch and bounce or just watch stuff. The couch is like gravity to this girl. I have no idea. We will be outside watering plants or playing sprinklers and she just disappears through the dog door and sure enough, just hanging out on the couch. Toys don’t seem to hold her interest for long. As long as she is content, I don’t interrupt but I have a beautiful backyard and a lovely playroom with a swing and even a couch but she prefers that one couch. What’s my move here?

Janet, this is the part of your posts that was a real eye-opener for me, especially to share with parents of my students. I teach in a Montessori classroom (which at times feels at odds with the free play concept), and I have pointed to your blog as our ‘guru’. When parents seem to be very adept at allowing their child freedom and space to be who they want to be, often they lack the ability to set boundaries for fear of interfering. I now can easily recognize this, and because of your posts, have been able to encourage parents that when they begin to feel they might get to the worn out/annoyed stage, it is important that they do set boundaries to take care of themselves–and not to worry that it will interfere with their child’s play and exploration. It can feel guilt-inducing for many parents to try this, but when they get it, it is so freeing! They get to enjoy being parents again.

Thanks, Paola! She’s adorable, isn’t she? I’d recommend No Bad Kids for your children’s ages. Here it is on Audio (linked). I hope you find it helpful.

Same here! He always tries to go deeper and deeper :/