Thankfully… I am. Every. Single. Day. I am doing my best!!

I appreciate so much all that you have shared here and am looking forwarding to new posts.

Warmly,
Eva

P.S. It is funny, I want to call myself “Big Eva” or something because I see the girl here is also named Eva, but in my family, I am called “Little Eva” (or Kis Eva in Hungarian), so it’s an interesting dynamic. 🙂

A personal story on the “not bleeding” comment:

My parents always asked “are you bleeding?” when we fell down and started crying.

I was an active child and broke both my leg and my collar bone before I was three. The medical personnel were really surprised because I didn’t cry or carry on.

However, I do remember scraping my leg when I was 3 or 4 and then insisting we had to go to the hospital because if I was bleeding I was REALLY injured!

My parents soon afterwards changed their question to “are you hurt?”

Vanessa, that sounds healthy to me.

What about nursing once their feelings were acknowledged, they calmed down and then they asked to nurse afterward?

I rarely ever offered the breast as a band-aid but every now and then my son would ask to nurse once he calmed down.

Children are so amazing and are forever exceeding my expectations!

I agree. I tend to say what Annie says, but now that you mention it, Janet, there’s a big difference between, say, having scraped knees of being frightened by a fall. Our body may be okay, but an unacknowledged emotion/fear/trauma/whatever could be detrimental. I’ll be sure to keep this in mind in future. Thanks for pointing it out.

That’s what we do with our daughter. She calms down much faster than any other child I’ve seen being told they’re ok, nothing happened, don’t be a whinge, stop it etc. :s

Nev

Thanks for sharing your article, Alex. You are right about kids killing bugs, and, unfortunately, I have seen parents not only modeling that, but encouraging their children to do it.

Gina, I would definitely recommend talking to your infant baby about the incident and his feelings about it. You might be suprised by how much he understands! I would go close to him and as calmly as possible tell him you will pick him up. Then maybe say something like: “Wow. That was a big fall. You didn’t realize you were right here on the edge (maybe showing him where he was on the bed with your hands), but you weren’t looking. That hurts.” Then, I would allow him to cry as long as he needs to while holding him and continuing to acknowledge his feelings. “That hurt and surprised you. I’m really sorry I wasn’t there to keep you from falling.”

Dealing with even the tiniest infant with lots of respectful communication and honestly brings miraculous results. When infants are allowed to have their feelings and not have them discouraged, shushed or nursed away, they grow into toddlers who are capable of having an experience like Eva had. She is used to being allowed her feelings and letting them run their course, not going to her mother to be nursed whenever she’s uncomfortable.

Please watch this video of a dad in one of my classes responding beautifully when his baby daughter is hurt: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8A4IF_aRntQ

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