Comments on: How To Stop Entertaining Your Baby

By: janet

janet — Wed, 01 Jun 2022 21:34:16 +0000

In reply to Breanne.

Hi Breanne — I would let her “use you” to pull herself up, but I wouldn’t lift her yourself. It’s a small detail, but can give her a false sense of her ability and is not quite as safe as allowing her to practice these skills and balance herself with her own body.

By: Breanne

Breanne — Wed, 01 Jun 2022 18:25:49 +0000

Hi Janet,

I’m curious about the “helping a child to stand” part. My daughter is 8 months old and will pull herself up with furniture and sturdy objects. Often times if she’s on the floor, she’ll crawl to my husband or I and try to pull herself up. It puts us in the position of helping her to stand. Is this okay to do? Should we encourage her to do it alone with sturdy furniture instead of us helping her. She initiates, always, and is free to “fall” or sit whenever she indicates that is what she wants to do. Is okay to help her stand if she’s in the lead?

By: Melanie

Melanie — Tue, 07 Dec 2021 17:30:59 +0000

Hi Janet,

I had a thought reading this. I’m currently pregnant with my second child and working a hybrid schedule, meaning I go into the office as needed, which is about once a week. My husband works from home full time. With this approach to independent play, would it be feasible to keep baby home after returning from maternity, at least until the child is crawling? We also have a daughter that will be almost 3.5 when the baby is born and is school during the week while we work. I would love to hear your thoughts. Thanks!

By: Emma

Emma — Wed, 05 Jun 2019 17:07:26 +0000

Hi Janet,
Thank you so much for this article. My baby is a little over 1 years old and was playing by himself for about 10 minutes at a time without me being in the room. This was about 2 months ago. Then he started pulling up and kept falling over. I tried to leave him in a safe place, even a play pen, but he would still fall over and bump his head on the plastic wall and cry. Because of this, I started rushing in whenever he fell or when I saw on the monitor that he was close to falling.
Now, I can’t leave the room for a minute before he starts crying. He’s able to play by himself when I’m in the room a few feet away. He might come over to give me a hug or engage me for a minute, then be off to playing by himself. But once I leave, he cries and it gets louder and louder the longer I’m gone (at most 5 minutes). His cruising is ok where he might fall occasionally but it doesn’t hurt so I’m ok leaving him by himself now. Do you have any suggestions on how to help him feel safe when I’m gone and be able to play on his own? Thank you!

By: janet

janet — Sun, 02 Jun 2019 17:31:34 +0000

In reply to Lynette. My pleasure, Lynette!

By: janet

janet — Sun, 02 Jun 2019 17:30:33 +0000

In reply to Caley. Yes, I've written (and podcasted) quite a bit on that topic. You can always look at the topic categories on my website. I've covered this whole approach pretty thoroughly. Here's one for you under "play:"https://www.janetlansbury.com/2013/05/stop-entertaining-your-toddler-in-3-steps-2/

By: janet

janet — Sun, 02 Jun 2019 17:28:08 +0000

In reply to Lisa.

Hi Sue and Lisa! Please know that I am in NO way saying to leave and ignore a crying baby. I would always respond right away by acknowledging our baby’s communication. Here’s something I wrote specifically geared towards a newly rolling infant:https://www.janetlansbury.com/2016/02/when-babies-get-tired-of-tummy-time/

I hope it’s helpful!

By: Lisa

Lisa — Sun, 02 Jun 2019 16:20:09 +0000

In reply to Sue. I would love to see a response to this, I have the same situation! It makes it hard to leave them to play independently when they are crying hard because they are “stuck” on their tummy.

By: janet

janet — Thu, 17 May 2018 18:28:46 +0000

In reply to Katy Cathey.

Hi Katy – the most important thing to know is that you will not shock her system by transitioning into another way of engaging with her. For a detailed process, I recommend this podcast: http://www.janetlansbury.com/2015/11/stop-sitting-baby-not-late/

I don’t have this one transcripted as yet, but hopefully you can take a moment to listen. You can do this!

By: Katy Cathey

Katy Cathey — Thu, 17 May 2018 18:17:36 +0000

I could use some advice on steps to wean my 11 mo old from the constant neediness I’ve created. She doesn’t crawl, hates tummy time and cries when I put her on her tummy. She can’t get herself to a sitting position, but can sit unassisted. She can almost walk; if I let her hold my finger she will run me till I collapse! How can I step back and let her develop crawling skills “organically” without shocking her system? I think it might be easier to begin self directed play if she was independently mobile!