I agree. I’m saddened to see this (and truly hope she has since changed her mind after reading into what modern infant neuroscience says). I’m absolutely shocked that someone who claims to respect babies would let them CIO in any form… So disappointed. Let’s be the change and start a nurture revolution, friend.

This is simply not true. We have lots of resources that indicate babies will sleep as much as they need to sleep on their own. The charts about how much sleep they need are essentially pro sleep training propaganda to use fear and guilt to push parents towards sleep training. There are so many neuroscientists and PhD‘s who advocate against sleep training. But it is a multi million dollar industry at this point. If you look at the hashtag #babyledsleep you’ll find so many passionate and highly educated advocates for biologically normal infant sleep. You are putting the patents first but pretending you’re not. That is my opinion, though obviously you in disagree.

I am writing this close to tears and in my car with my baby asleep in the car seat.

First of all, he is an average sleeper I would say and so far, me or my husband always respon to him crying or waking. He is about to turn one and I am noticing that he is not getting enough sleep and I need to find a way to help him.
At night he wakes 1-3 times and each time we go in, pick him up and walk back and forth until he is asleep and then gently put him down. Sometimes he wakes when up back in his bed, sometimes he doesn’t. When he wakes sometimes he fussed and goes to sleep but mostly we need to pick him up again and walk until he is asleep again. Sometimes he is hungry and we give him a bottle (until two weeks ago I would always nurse him back to sleep but I had to wean for medical reasons).
If we don’t pick him up he will sit up and crawl to us and pull on our legs crying.

For naps I give him a bottle and walk with him and then sneak him into his bed. He doesn’t take very long naps. Most days he naps at 10:30 for 1 – 1.5 hours and then struggles to nap again in the afternoon (hence me sitting in the car again). I feel he needs one longer nap and a solid 12 hours at night but I have no idea how to help him get there. How do I make him nap longer? He wakes and fussed and if I don’t come in he will distract himself and play but not go to sleep again, even if he is tired. I want to be respectful and I get that sneaking him into his bed is not that. I also understand the importance of self soothing but for his naps I have no idea how to get there. Should I just work on nights for now and then hope he will use the self soothing skills for daytime as well?

Thank you in advance for your help!

Oh my Mindy!! This was my 4year old son and is now my 14 week old son!!!!!

It is most respectful to babies’ needs to help them get a restorative night sleep. In the beginning of time, babies needed to be shushed so that the family wouldn’t be attacked by wild animals. And in those days babies had boring, predictable days… They weren’t in stores and restaurants, overstimulated, etc. They weren’t placed in electric swings or bounced to sleep on balls. Prehistoric parenting is not helpful to children or their parents today. All it does is perpetuate emotional repression and keep the therapists in business. There is no longer a need to stifle or stuff our babies emotions because we fear hearing their feelings. With our help, children can clear their feelings, as needed, and sleep more deeply. We can do better.