Comments on: Loving Babies Without Wearing Them

By: janet

janet — Mon, 16 Apr 2012 03:02:20 +0000

In reply to Amie. Yes, Amie, this way isn't everyone's choice, but I guarantee you that it brings wonderful results.

By: Amie

Amie — Mon, 16 Apr 2012 02:06:40 +0000

This is exactly how I felt when I found your blog just two weeks ago. So relieved! I always felt guilty if I was not holding my baby. Now, I feel assured that I am doing the right thing by allowing him to exercise on his back and discover the world on his own time. Thank you!

By: LKL

LKL — Fri, 30 Dec 2011 15:57:06 +0000

Interesting post. I had often thought of RIE as a part of attachment parenting, taking attachment parenting to mean responding respectfully to the baby’s needs. Space, “belly time”, and quiet discovery are also needs. I’d never considered baby-wearing to be such a constant (24-7?!) either. Until reading this article, I would have considered Gerber and Sears to be saying much the same thing but in slightly different ways. This article puts quite a bit of distance between the two perspectives.

By: Vanessa

Vanessa — Thu, 29 Dec 2011 06:42:10 +0000

In reply to Erin. Thank you Janet, looking forward to it!

By: Erin

Erin — Wed, 28 Dec 2011 18:01:23 +0000

In reply to janet. Oooh! Thank you! Will be watching for it!

By: janet

janet — Wed, 28 Dec 2011 15:33:37 +0000

In reply to Fran.

Hi Fran! Thank you, those are my sentiments exactly. And, okay, when the wonderful distractions of these holidays are over and I get my brain back…I’ll be back to work! The pressure’s on. 🙂

By: Fran

Fran — Wed, 28 Dec 2011 10:04:10 +0000

How wonderful that your blog helped this mother feel better about herself! I think the key here is that she realized there isn’t just one way to raise a child and finding something that was a fit for her and her babies helped her relax and be the best mom for her kids.

P.S. I can’t wait to see that list you’re going to be working on. 🙂

By: janet

janet — Wed, 28 Dec 2011 05:35:32 +0000

In reply to Vanessa. Erin and Vanessa, okay! I'll get the list together...just give me a week or so. Thanks for your encouragement! :)

By: Vanessa

Vanessa — Wed, 28 Dec 2011 05:07:31 +0000

In reply to Erin. Erin I just love the examples you gave, often times I wish I had a list too :)

By: janet

janet — Wed, 28 Dec 2011 02:28:39 +0000

In reply to Leslie.

Thanks, Leslie! Yes, this letter was a big morale boost for me.

I have no idea how this mom’s negative opinion of Attachment Parenting was formed, but I can speak to the difference between Attachment Parenting and Bowlby’s Attachment Theory…

Attachment Theory is complex and multi-faceted, but I’ll attempt to oversimplify by saying it’s about responsiveness, consistency and continuity of care, all of which are necessary for forming secure attachments.

Attachment Parenting is the invention of Dr. William Sears and the route he recommends for fostering secure attachments. His recommendations include babywearing (a term he invented) and “18 months in the womb” — meaning babies kept next to the parent’s body 24-7 for the first 9 months.

The RIE Educaring approach was founded by infant specialist Magda Gerber and is a somewhat different route to the same “end goal” — a securely bonded relationship of trust and respect between parent and child. Her recommendations are what my blog is all about…and Lisa Sunbury writes extensively about Gerber’s approach on regardingbaby.org.

There’s a book that I highly recommend for an overview of Attachment Theory… Theories of Attachment: An Introduction to Bowlby, Ainsworth, Gerber, Brazelton, Kennell and Klaus by Carol Garhart Mooney. I’m unclear as to why she doesn’t include a chapter on Attachment Parenting and the work of Dr. Sears.