Hi Janet, I do all of this and my 3+ year old is so strong and strong willed that me “helping her” can’t be a gentle process. She fights hard. I’ve waited this out, gave her choices, not gone places. She doesn’t care. I’ve tried first this, then that. I’ve offered to play a song or give her a toy after she’s in. It’s like she wants and enjoys the power struggle. I don’t know what to do but I avoid taking her anywhere when I can, which is really tough.

Hi Renelle! Yes, I would use the same approach.

Getting my child into a car seat has been a massive struggle, particularly when I am in a rush!

Thanks

I would love a response to this as well! Our 3yr old has been inconsolable when getting strapped in. This advice reinforces what we mostly already do with her; however, it does seem to be traumatizing our very strong-willed daughter now!

I’m dealing with this to with my three-year-old never had an issue up to a week ago she’s refusing to go to her favorite places and just will not get in her seat even after negotiating an hour and I just give up I feel so sad about it I don’t know what to do

+1 to this question. My daughter has the same issue and we’ve been limiting car rides to less than 20 minutes because she will cry the whole time.

Hi Janet, I’ve been following your facebook posts closely for some time and have read some of your books and some that you have recommended. Thank you for your advice!
My son of 2 years and 9 months is really tired after his childcare days (he often won’t nap) so he often comes out of the childcare gate happily and then takes off at full speed down the street. I do let him run down the big tree roots that are there a couple of times but when he takes off down the street it’s dangerous as there is a road and driveways. I try not to make it a game or a struggle but i have to run at full speed to catch him for safety reasons and then spend a long time coaxing him into the car. Sometimes it’s as simple as letting him choose a couple of leaves on the ground to take with him and i always give him the choice of climbing into the car himself or being helped. I can help him but i am physically unable to force him. Any suggestions when playing, coaxing and being calm and firm are not working and child is overtired? I don’t really want to resort to bribery. By the way, the saga continues at home as I attempt to make (reheat) dinner, and get him to eat, have a bath and get dressed. Forcing clothes on will fail as even if i manage he’ll just take them straight off again. If bath time will be a battle I skip it for safety reaons unless my partner is home as back up. All of these things are fairly manageable when my son is not overtired but the battle lasts a good 2 hours just when he realiy needs to be in bed fast. I would appreciate any suggestions you have. Thanks

I would love an answer to this as well. I love Janet’s advice most of the time…but what to do when my child is completely losing her mind?? Especially while I’m driving? I understand communicating what we are doing, acknowledging emotions, and how all of this may help our children not get to that melt down point, or will make the meltdown shorter. But what do we do when we are ARE at that point?? No amount of calmly telling her I hear you back there, I can hear and see you are not happy, wow, you are really unhappy right now! I hear that! We have to keep driving though, I can’t stop right now but I totally hear you…..no amount of that helps sometimes. I’ve tried.