My daughter is 2 years old. I do work form home. I have few client calls during day time. My daughter is always around. Can you please suggest if how can I manage such situations.

Thanks so much for your amazing blog! I am also a stay at home mother. My 5 month old has been rolling onto her tummy for the last couple of weeks (all by herself as we stopped doing tummy time once we discovered RIE!). However, she is teething now and seems to have forgotten how to roll back onto her back and so as soon as I put her on the floor on her back she will immediately roll to her tummy and then start screaming with frustration even if toys are within her reach. I go over to her (after giving her a few seconds to try and work it out herself) and say something like “you’re upset/you seem tired, do you want me to pick you up?” and then when she continues to scream I tell her I’m picking her up, pick her up, hold her for a while until she is calmer or seems to want to go back down then I tell her I’m putting her down and place her back down on her back. Seconds later the whole thing begins again! She seems compelled to roll but doesn’t want to be there once it happens. In your experience is this a common thing to happen or could it be related to her teething? I don’t know if I should stop trying but I’m not sure what the alternative is. I really want her to be happy playing by herself but I don’t know how to go about doing this. And occasionally she is still happy and will remember how to roll back by herself. Any suggestions gratefully received. Thanks, Alana

Thanks for this excellent post. Honestly, it came as a shock to me to even consider trying to get some work done while my son is awake but it makes so much sense that it could be healthy for him too. I absolutely agree with you and I would love to have my 23-month old play more independently. I am a work/stay at home mom and I currently get way too little sleep while trying to juggle finishing my dissertation and caring for my son. I have a babysitter who comes for 15 hours a week (all we can afford) but if I were able to get even a little extra work done during my son’s waking hours it would make a big difference. I was so excited to see your post today. I knew that independent play was something good for a child but from your post I get the sense that it is not only good but something that we parents should strive for and actually work towards.

Unfortunately, I did not discover RIE and your site until my son was about 16 months. I regret that my husband and I did not try to encourage much independent play prior to finding RIE. We have a large, safe enclosed play space for our son– which he loves. Whenever we are in the play space with our son, our son directs his play. However, our son will ask us to do very specific things with him–e.g. “Mommy, play with this puppet while I play with this one”, or “Mommy, pull this toy around while I pull this one”, or “Mommy, build with these blocks while I build with these”. Our son seems to love to have us basically play in parallel with a similar toy while he plays and seems to want us very close and involved. When I try to leave my son to play independently for a brief time (e.g. 10 minutes) I always tell him where I am going, what I will be doing and when I will be back. My son will usually only play for 5 minutes at the most on his own before beginning to yell repeatedly “Mommy, come back please”.

How much do you think it is ok/healthy to encourage independent play even when the child is asking for the parent to come back and play with them? I do give undivided attention during care-giving activities but I suspect that my son does not play independently because I did not try to encourage this early enough in his life. Would it be best to start with occasional very short time periods such as 10-15 minutes a couple times a day and gradually work up to more?

Thank you!

Aww, thanks, Rick! Please tell my kids that!

Kelly, I totally agree with you. You sound like you are describing my situation, except that I can’t get 10 minutes of time working if my son sees me. I had set up a play area next to my work space in my home office, but he wants to be with me on my side of the space. It’s true, I’m working on the computer and he wants to play with my computer. But he also always wants ME. And whenever he engages with me, I give him my undivided attention, but he doesn’t fill up on that and then go play by himself. He is just starting to have periods of independent play at 21-22 months of age that last maybe 10 minutes at most. I have a babysitter come to my house so that I can work. If he sees me, all bets are off, so I have to hide and sneak around my own house! Thoughts? Thanks!

Hi Keisha,
Predictability and practice is the key to this working… So, I would create a simple routine… He wakes up, eats, changes diapers, plays with you present, then you leave for a few minutes to take care of some chores and return, etc. If he cries when you leave, return briefly and acknowledge, “you didn’t want me to leave. I hear you. I’ll be back in 5 minutes”. Young children feel a million times calmer and more accepting when they know what to expect. They may still cry, but it is a “complaining” type of cry.

Telling him you will leave is essential. I would also give him the blow-by-blow before that… Now we will go to your playroom. After a few minutes I’ll go to the kitchen and then come back and watch you some more.

Keep in mind also that at 11 months there is commonly “separation anxiety”. This doesn’t mean you drop everything and never leave your boy, but try to leave for more than a few minutes while he’s going through this stage (for the next few months).

Lainey, the enclosed play area can be appropriate until age 2 or so. When children have “bonded” with their wonderful play space, they will usually continue to enjoy it as they get older, long past the time the gate has be removed.