I feel like I made the biggest mistake of my life. My 20 month old a little a couple weeks ago loved doodling on paper. Then one day she asked me to draw her dad so I did without thinking about the consequences. Now she won’t draw and wants me to draw things for her. I’ve finally wised up to what I had done and been making efforts to encourage her to draw and she will become frustrated with herself for trying and mad at me for not drawing pictures for her. I don’t know how to undo what I had done. I wish I found this article beforehand. I look at videos of her just enjoying her drawings and I am so sadden by my innocent mistake. Please help.

I’m also curious about this, as an educator, often I will sit down with the children and draw with them. While I would never instruct them on how or what to draw, or even what materials to use, I have never hesitated to make art beside them. Often i’m able to engage a small group for longer and with more enjoyment and conversation when I myself am participating. Recently I was told that I shouldn’t be doing that, that drawing representationally demotivates the children, that drawing “better” than the children limits their creativity. It was explained to me that I should only be drawing to a standard that matches their abilities e.g. If children are still scribbling abstracts, then I should only be drawing abstractly. I’m not sure what the philosophy or intention is behind this? As an artist, I find it problematic.

I am experiencing the same thing with my 2.5 year old son. He wants daddy to draw a truck or a train because his father has some artistic talent so his drawings look more realistic. My son draws too, but always asks us to draw specific objects. How should we approach this to encourage our son?

I was coming here to leave a separate comment, but I think I know to what end…

The parent’s own genuine open ended creativity is SO stifled, disused for years or decades, but it’s so important to actually being a human, so that adult’s inner soul is actually DESPERATE to just sit with a piece of paper and a pencil (or paintbrush, or whatever) and experiment for half or a quarter of an hour, that that instinct takes over. They’re not TRYING to stifle their child’s creativity. But their own need takes over to the point that they are being driven by emotion/instinct and are not able (unless with A LOT of practice) to be rational and think about what their child needs at that moment. They are not really thinking about their child at all. They are not really thinking. They are just doing. And that’s actually fine and wonderful for their own development, and it’s so hard for adults to get out of their own heads that they need permission to do it and the children are therefore a convenient excuse, but the problem is as you’ve said, it cuts the children off from the same thing. Doing it together (each on their own paper) can help, but from the comments that doesn’t work either. Frustration all around.

Something I have found in early childhood is the frustration with fine muscle control may be too much for her. Use blank pieces of paper where you do not have to stay in the line. Give her markers or paint and glue and as she explores and becomes confident in her creative side she may add crayons. For fine muscle control play with play doh, pick up small stones, string beads, etc

Ask her “If you were good at it, what would you draw? What colors would you use? What would it look like? Can you show me?”