If your toddler can’t handle being with his little sibling without regularly causing pain you might need to literally keep them separated for a while when you can’t be sitting on the floor playing with them. Some stages you have to solve the problem a different way then just waiting until the child can process directions safely. Maybe keep the little one in the kitchen with you while the toddler is in the play room. Or maybe inside a pack and play if you can’t be close. Sometimes it takes longer than we want to grow through a stage.

Also make sure you aren’t blaming the little one for things that the big one wants to do. Example: We can’t go outside because little is sleeping. But instead: we are playing inside now. We can go outside in one hour. Not: baby is eating you have to wait. But: now we are eating. Soon we can all play catch. Helps reduce the friction between littles and all the changes a second one brings to the first ones life.

Technically what she said was use stickers to track the passage of time. Not if x stickers then prize.

I love that, “small acts of naughtiness!”

Lately i fell completely overwhelmed and i don’t know what is the best approach with my 1year and 9 months son.
Eight weeks ago i gave birth to our second son. I know it will be a very difficult period for my eldest and we tried to prepare him for the arrival of the new baby. We showed him a book that described the arrival of a new baby in the family, that i will be gone for a few days to give birth and he was actually excited about the arrival of the baby. At first things seemed ok, he would come and give kisses to the baby, sometimes he woul try to pinch him, and we would explain that the baby is fragile and it would hurt him. We took a nanny to help me with the kids while my husband was at work. Also we moved to a new apartment a week ago. I know that there are so many changes for him and it’s hard to process everything, and i do try to give him all the attention that i can. I leave the baby with the nanny to play with him, i always try to be at bedtime, sometimes bringing the baby with me, i breastfeed the baby and sing to my eldest, Mihnea, to sleep. The problem is that he is more and more agitated and aggressive. He tries to pinch and hit the baby or us more frequently. We try to explain calmly not to do that, or take his hands and stop him from hitting and say “no hitting”, and trying not to make a big fuss out of it. In the park he literally attackes every kid he sees. I have to be constantly behind him to stop him from hitting a child. I see he is very distressed because he is clenching his theeh when he is doing it. Today i left the park in tears. He went to every kid in his proximity and pulled his hair or pushed him for no reason. He was fed and was not tired. I picked him up and went home. I feel that i can not manage this situation. I don’t know what to do, or where i fail. I am reading your book and trying to find an answer but i really don t know how to approach things. I am very tired and my hisband also with the moving to a new place and all the sleepless nights and sometimes i loose my temper. If you have any advice, i really need one.

My 2 year old dislikes getting her nappy changed and getting dry and dressed after the bath/shower,

During happy changes he will kick and roll over, I say I will not let you kick, we need to clean the poo and a lot of the times I end up getting frustrated and loosing my cool. I always start with a few warning calls to let him know, it’s time/nearly time to change your bum. How can I approach this better?

After bath/showers, from the moment he steps out and I try to dry him, it’s a meltdown. He runs away and I chase. Maybe it’s a game but he’s not laughing. I’ve tried distractions that sometimes work to help dry him but it’s not working for us.

I feel like maybe I’m not clear at setting boundaries. I’m a loving and adoring gentle mum but I’m feeling like my son is having trouble knowing what those boundaries are.

Hi Janet im curious to hear your thoughts for a 5 year old on spectrum without speech impairment, infact very switched on. Negotiates almost everything.. “i wont eat my dinner if you dont feed me” or “i wont eat my dinner if youvdont put the television on” or “im not going to go in the car unless you let me take my scooter” or “im not going to go to sleep if you dont sitcin my bed first” so every night she continues to wake 5 + times overnight and i just sit on her bed for a few minutes as im too tired to deal with 40 minute meltdowns per ocassion. She can feed herself at childcare / kinder but bot at home (we are ocerseas to you so she starts school in 2021 just after she is 6years old) she grunts points and says “mum feed me” ive begun negotiating back sure i say lets take it in turns i.e i start and feed her a mouthful then she does one (its been a long road to this point) and its still so tedious. I personally get frusturated by aggressive nature shd always asks for help and refuses to ever try first and i try and encourage her to have a go and if she gets stuck im happy to help. Every single self help task clothes, etc is what i feel challenging. I try just kerp praising every single time she tries something, hives it a good try etc “well done that makes me happy you tried – do you feel proud you just did x task?!” still feel like this doesnt achieve much. The every day battle of tasks is tricky. We talk about zones of regulation, recognising emotions etc but we still have multiple meltdowns a day and emotional anytime we try and discuss a moment from the day where she might have been having trouble. Tried social stories and reward charts she loses interest in.