Hi Janet,
I’m hoping this doesn’t end up as a reply, because I’m trying to make a separate comment…

My 2.5 yo daughter has taken to saying “I don’t love you” to daddy. It usually happens right when he comes home, but it also happens sort of out of the blue. I’m not really sure why she’s saying this. My husband and I don’t talk like this to each other or the children (she has a 14 mo brother). My daughter seems very precocious and that is a blessing sometimes, but it also makes her seem much older than she is emotionally and in understanding. She just knows a lot of words, but she’s still 2.

I wonder if it happens because I try to greet my husband cheerfully and with love when he comes (especially since daughter is using such hurtful words right now). I wonder if she feels like I won’t love her now that daddy is home.

I pulled her aside today and told her that words can hurt, just like hitting, kicking, or biting. Maybe she didn’t know that. But, I’m not sure she really understands. I told her I can’t let her use hurting words on daddy, but I don’t really know what to do next. Maybe you have an idea?

It’s my pleasure, Vicki! I feel like we’re all brave to take this journey, which is about wrestling with ourselves to maintain that self-awareness of own baggage, unhelpful perceptions, etc. Kudos to you!

It’s my pleasure, Vicki! I feel like we’re all brave to take this journey, which is about wrestling with ourselves to maintain that self-awareness of own baggage, unhelpful perceptions, etc. Kudos to you!

She will tell him things like “go away” or when he says he loves her she will respond with “I don’t love you”. This is not always, but enough that it’s wearing him down. Most of the time they are great together but she lashes out whenever he tries to set limits with her and she gets mad. With me, even when she gets mad, she still wants me around. But with him she will say really harsh things. And while I don’t want to dismiss her feelings or punish her for saying them, I feel like it’s hurting their relationship. No parent wants to hear their child tell them they don’t love them or they want them to be sad. We parents are only human and our feelings get hurt. How are you as a parent supposed to “support” that?

I think part of it is you can physically prevent a child from hitting. You can’t prevent them from saying nasty things, only decide how to react to them after they’ve been said.

https://amyswass.com/2016/05/04/i-just-needed-to-cry-with-him/

I Just Needed To Cry With Him
Posted on May 4, 2016 by awass7712
Last night I was in some kind of funk. It started in the afternoon.

I don’t know what triggered it or why it happened, but I was grumpy and in a bad mood, and I hate when that happens! I hate it because I know that when I’m in a mood like that I’m not nice to my husband.

That’s part of marriage, though. Vows should include something like this: “I promise to love you forever, even when I see the worst parts of you. When you’re a grump and no one knows why, I will remember that you are more than that, and I’ll love you through it.” Because people need to really know what they’re getting into.

Anyway, back to last night. My mood was made worse when our lawn mower (that we just had fixed the day before) stopped working. I love mowing the lawn, and I had looked forward to it all day. I had also looked forward to going for a long bike ride with my husband, but we had to take the stupid mower back to the shop, so we didn’t have time. That also made everything worse.

I had hoped that maybe we could still go on a short bike ride when we got home, but my husband got a call from work and had to go help resolve a problem.

Then I remembered I forgot to take my birth control pill this morning, and things started making sense. One of the reasons I hated taking it when we first got married was because I would get really grumpy at least once a week for no reason, but it’s what I have to do right now, so I just have to suck it up.

I went on a bike ride all by myself. It wasn’t long. I almost started crying at least 10 times while I biked along. Again, I have no idea why I was going to cry (hormones???). Seriously. Not getting to mow the lawn doesn’t make me that upset. But the whole time I was just thinking, “I don’t want to cry by myself. I want to be with Jamin.”

After an hour, my husband got back home and I got there shortly after. I was still in a funk. When we got inside, he pulled me onto his lap and prayed for me. All the tears came out, and I’m still not exactly sure why. I felt so much better after just crying it out in my love’s arms.

He is seriously the best. After a whole evening of me just being super rude and grumpy, he wasn’t mad or bitter. He just kept loving me.