One day I felt heartbroken that I couldn’t understand my child’s point of view and I decided to give up that goal of understanding her. (I thought it was a decent goal, but I made very little progress when that was my goal. She was a teen at the time.)
I wondered how I was going to be an effective parent if I couldn’t be an effective teacher to my child. I wondered why I was chosen to be her parent if I couldn’t teach her anything. Looking at the situation that way wasn’t getting me anywhere.
So I flipped around my view and asked myself, “What if she was sent to you to teach you something?”
It was a whole new way to view my child and to be curious about watching the way she approaches the world.
I don’t mean that I completely let go of being her parent of course, but I freed myself in many ways with my new way to approach her and her decisions. I became curious about her choices and actions.
]]>Thank you for this particular scripting. I feel I handle my 2.5 y/o big emotions this way, I feel, however, he has been making EVERYTHING a battle royale to provoke bigger reactions. Essentially, this is how I react, but this is also an elaboration I could benefit from.
He’s surrounded by passive people who don’t see his aggressive tendencies because they basically don’t say no or mean what they say.
So, I pick up the pieces and feel overwhelmed from time to time–tonight was an example of it, so, I needed this. I need this over and over sometimes, just as described.
He wants to run the show with every single transition–some is spd and some is clearly normal strong willed stuff. I fight myself on when it’s actually not in my control anymore–other than being that sounding board. Sometimes we don’t have the answers, but we still have the acknowledgement.
]]>I am with you. I have a 6 year old and almost 3 year old. Both are very strong willed. The 6 year old was an only child, only grandchild on one side his first 3 1/2 years and now it seems no matter what we try he has to be the center of attention and everything is about him. And now some of the unwanted behaviors are being picked up by the younger child.
]]>I am also attending counseling with my 10 y/o. Im a single Mom of her and a 16 month old boy. Its such an awe expierience to be reading this article, all the wonderful info. , and knowing im not alone.. thank you sooo much:-)
]]>Oh dear, I’m dealing with same thing with my daughter. She’s got more the attitude of a teenager than of a 4yo!
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