I commented above, but I do reckon there’s a place for roughhousing, silliness, play. (I think from what she said, Janet does too).
I think she was talking about integrity as parents. Which is great.
Playfulness is a great tool, but if you’re feeling annoyed and frustrated and at YOUR limit as a parent, it may not be an appropriate or even a possible one. (I feel many resources don’t address this reality!) As well as modelling what we’re trying to teach them about emotions.

I may not be well read enough on this, but I appreciated what Janet said here. I get the sense that she is affirming playfulness and silliness… I didn’t read it as discrediting this good research on the effect of playfulness on children’s anxiety or dysregulation.
I read it as recognising something important for the *parent* involved – namely that if there’s a limit-testing/aggressive behaviour that’s annoying or triggering us, we may not be able to respond with playfulness – and actually that’s ok, because we want to model authenticity and acceptance of emotions etc. I personally appreciate that because, even though i often try to meet my children’s limit-testing and “difficult” behaviours with playfulness where it feels appropriate (but at least with a cheerful confidence), there are times I just can’t. I’m worn out, triggered, annoyed… and I can continue to be a calm presence as I hold the line for my little ones, but I can’t be playful. I just can’t. I’ve tried. Maybe some can muster it up, but I can’t – and I appreciate the “permission” and reality of this. There is a place for accepting our own emotions too (while choosing our behaviour and words carefully) as parents… And sometimes if playfulness is suggested as the dominant or primary strategy, it does communicate that we can’t let them cry.
(I try to soothe and be present and not cause upsets unnecessarily or lightly… But to me it feels like Janet offers something coherent and realistic ).
If that makes sense.
But I’m no expert 🙂 on Janet, or on the advice she’s quoting.

Amazing story, hold onto that memory! And thank you for sharing with us

My son was similar but mom is resourceful. He loves books so mom sometimes comes home with a new book in hand. Sometimes it’s not that they don’t like the person, but the situation it puts them in. For instance, he might not like your parents house, or the fact that you stop playing with him when they arrive. Ask them to come to your house, preferably when he’s fed, rested and happy. And a little bored. Not in the middle of great play with his parents. The best situation for them to appear with some treat and willingness to play with him at a time his parents won’t. And do it often at first. Daily if possible. Start spacing out the treats but not the visits. They need to build a bond with predictability. Your parents need to put in some work. Teach them it is not personal anything he does.

Try giving her the choice. “Ok. It’s time to leave. Do you want to go on your own feet or mommy’s feet?” If she doesn’t choose then you tell her you’ll choose for her and pick her up and take her to the car. In my experience they will most likely make the choice to come on their own. It has worked for me! Good luck!!

Thank you!

Hi Stacey – I would not set boundaries with a 4-month-old baby. Discipline begins with us creating a predictable routine for the day in accordance with our baby’s rhythms. Children will ease into a routine of eat, sleep, play, etc., when there is a predictable rhythm and they know what to expect. And babies do need a lot of touch and holding. When your baby is expressing something, I would work on calming yourself and entering into a conversation with her, gently asking questions and sharing your thought process. Magda Gerber said it so beautifully:

“A crying baby responds to gentleness and calmness. Respond slowly and acknowledge that she is crying by saying, ‘You’re crying. What’s the matter?’ Next, make sure that her basic needs are taken care of. Be sure your baby is fed and warm. Some babies are more sensitive to a wet diaper than others, so check that. If she is neither hungry nor tired and seems to have no other pressing need, observe her to discover the possible source of any other discomfort. Tell her you’re trying to understand what she wants. This is the start of lifelong, honest communication.”

I highly recommend Magda Gerber’s book, Dear Parent – Caring for Infants With Respect.

If your baby objects to being set down in a supine position to play, this post might be helpful for you: https://www.janetlansbury.com/2011/11/how-to-stop-entertaining-your-baby/

I hope that helps!