Comments on: 5 Reasons We Should Stop Distracting Toddlers (And What To Do Instead)

By: MV

MV — Sat, 02 Jan 2021 16:39:45 +0000

In reply to Elna. Totally agree with Elna here. Treating babies like adults seemed like an accepted truth in the article but I think we really can't treat babies like adults. Following the logic that babies must be treated like adults - we not only have to stop redirection, we also have to stop bathing them, cleaning up after them, helping them eat, and even play silly games with them. They are babies and we really have to treat them differently. Depending on the situation, I think we can confront the issue or let it pass, redirect them, and ensure we confront the issue another time as reinforcement.

By: Emily

Emily — Wed, 29 Jul 2020 01:45:48 +0000

Hi Janet –

Thanks for your wonderful post and constant guidance while navigating parenthood.

My question is about redirection but with physical sadness. When my son (2 years old) hurts himself and cries, my husband always swoops over and turns it into a joke to make my son laugh. 10/10 he always makes him laugh and the crying stops. Although I like that my son is no longer crying, I can’t help but think that we are not allowing him to feel those emotions. Is this bad? I would love to hear your thoughts!

By: Ismira

Ismira — Thu, 28 May 2020 00:17:10 +0000

In reply to Janna. I must say I agree with this distinction of both. Redirection is more to providing alternatives after the main activity/item is just not possible to do/have. I think it’s part of problem solving training in life. We offer not force. Anyway, we still allow the children to express their feeling toward this situation.

By: Elna

Elna — Sat, 03 Aug 2019 09:47:36 +0000

In reply to BTK.

I agree with the reader that distraction is not a bad thing.

You mentioned, “Would you distract an adult in the middle of a disagreement and direct her to mop up the floor? Then why treat a younger person like a fool? I believe that we can trust babies to choose where to invest their emotional energy. Only babies know what they are working on and figuring out.”

No, i wouldn’t treat an adult that way. But you cannot treat an adult like you treat a child nor can you treat a child like an adult. A child’s brain is not fully developed yet.
I agree with explaining the situation, but once explained, you distract to help them refocus, as mentioned by a reader.

By: Courtney

Courtney — Sun, 21 Apr 2019 21:52:45 +0000

I totally agree with this and generally do this. I’m struggling with my 3.5 yo right now because I feel like I’m saying we don’t do x,y, z all day long. It feels like our whole relationship are these moments. I’m losing my ability to be calm as well. I also find if I say we don’t do something it creates a “charge” and that’s all he wants to do e.g. shout on purpose to wake up his baby sister. I have been using distraction to try to avoid this counterwill scenario and also because I really need him to stop and I can’t make him. Not sure what to do in these scenarios. Any suggestions?

By: Mileena

Mileena — Fri, 28 Sep 2018 06:42:04 +0000

I’m glad to have found this article. I feel the same. Though I need up losing a good friend over the debate. She wanted to understand my opinion but for the life of her couldn’t understand when I explained. As her friends ganged up on me I became so appalled with how disrespectfully we treat children. If you want an intelligent and strong child you need to treat them as intelligent and strong not dumb and foolish.

By: Loving mother

Loving mother — Wed, 30 May 2018 21:29:23 +0000

This is so true! Anytime my 2yr old son gets upset because he didn’t get his way, I acknowledge his feelings & he calms down & moves into something else. My partner even used it on our son the other day, when he was on daddy-duty by himself for a week while I was out of town on business. Our son wasn’t cooperating & wouldn’t get ready for bedtime. He was getting upset, & the more daddy tried to get him to go to bed, the more our son resisted. So, he took a step back, remembered that he needed to calm down (our children most definitely sense our emotions & emulate them). He acknowledged that our son was really tired & upset, & our son calmed down & went to sleep. It’s amazing.
Thank you for all of your advice on parenting. I’ve learned so much! Treating our kids with respect, empathy & kindness, like we would with an adult, is so important. I see a huge difference in the way my son behaves & communicates with the world compared to most kids. I wish every parent would read your articles more. Thank you!

By: Ashwini

Ashwini — Tue, 31 May 2016 23:24:23 +0000

When I read the title, I thought I would not agree with what you have to say. But after reading your description, I realized that there must be parents who do take the easy way out and just distract the child every time there is a conflict. I think it is important to talk about “how to” use distraction successfully rather than completely avoid it. I think distraction when used with honesty and reason can also serves as a great way of modelling appropriate behavior. For example, if the my child wants a toy that other child is playing with I tell her that she has to wait for her turn. But after that, I have to use distraction to teach her that even if right now she thinks that its the most attractive toy, there will be other things that will interest her if she tries. So for that, I have to sound excited about some other toy and give her option. Most of the time it works but sometimes it doesn’t. When it doesn’t work, I just hold her and help her to express her feelings with words and try to tell her that she has to wait for her turn if she wants the toy!

By: Keith Kablutsiak

Keith Kablutsiak — Tue, 31 May 2016 13:30:50 +0000

This is awesome – thank you so much. My husband and I have made a consious decision to parent gently…and we do sometimes try to distract in order to quickly end a tantrum. I already felt uncomfortable with this even though I would talk with my daughter about the issue after the event to help her understand what happened. I am going use the tools you have suggested here in the future! Thank you 🙂

By: Vicki Burgess

Vicki Burgess — Mon, 30 May 2016 15:11:44 +0000

I have to add, that I wear glasses. I was wearing an inexpensive pair in between getting my eye glass prescription upgraded. Well, I had her overnight. While getting her dressed, (She’s a baby), I allowed her to touch my glasses. I even let her hold them. I had the camera rolling as she examined them. Then to our surprise, the glasses broke! Her expression was so funny as she was more dismayed than I. I let her hold them, and they accidentally broke. It was a funny moment for me to treasure with her!