Comments on: Toddler Toy Battles – Interventions That Work

By: Rebecca

Rebecca — Sun, 21 May 2023 02:41:42 +0000

In reply to Sarah. My thoughts exactly. This laissez faire attitude to toy taking is the one part of Janet’s philosophy that makes zero sense to me because it just seems to encourage the strong to overpower the weak. I don’t see how that can be good for any child’s development. Would love to see her response to this.

By: Lana

Lana — Fri, 11 Mar 2022 06:40:38 +0000

Hi Janet! I feel like this I am constantly having to comfort my 2 year at play groups and play dates. He is very shy and cautious of other children, but is very sweet and giving at nature. Children always seem to come up and snatch toys from his hands which he then runs to me for help upset. He never comes up to other kids and takes things from them. He doesn’t have that side to him. My question is how to do teach him to not let kids constantly take toys from him? How do I teach him to be more assertive?

By: Lana

Lana — Fri, 11 Mar 2022 06:36:45 +0000

Hi Janet!

I was wondering what would I do in this situation which seems to be happening a lot with my 2 year old. He is very shy and cautious of other children. Every time we go to a playgroup or play date children just come up and take toys from him, which he then gets upset and runs to me for help. How do help him learn to not let children take the toys/be more assertive? He always shares with other children when asked but other children rarely share with him and it upsets him especially when they come up and just yank the toy from his hands. What should I do in this situation? Thank you!

By: Hannah

Hannah — Mon, 28 Jun 2021 03:37:39 +0000

Hi Janet!
I have a question on what to do if the ensuing tantrum seems never ending? I have 22 month old twins so we deal with almost constant toy snatching and I let them work it out about 95% of the time. But there are the occasions where it is a favorite toy of one child that day or something they really loved that was snatched by the other and the crying/tantrum seems to be never ending. I try to tell them that it’s ok to feel sad and that I am there for a hug if they need one but it seems like nothing with end the fit unless they get the toy back. Sometimes this back and forth exchange of – child A having the loved toy, child B takes it, child A throws a fit, then child A gets it back and now child B throws a fit – goes on for a long time so I have a pile of banished toys that they can’t seem to share whatsoever. Do I just ignore it? It gets a bit much for me sometimes.

By: Elise Rogers

Elise Rogers — Tue, 30 Jun 2020 01:11:51 +0000

I needed to listen to this today, I’ve been stressing as my daughter has apparently been rough with other children at daycare due to not wanting to ‘share’.. I was made to feel as though her behaviour was a reflection on my parenting by one of the educators. We don’t condone physical violence, we encourage our two year old to be gentle, to use her words (what limited language she has anyway!). I was so taken aback it took me a few minutes to even ask the educator what the context was and how they handled the situation. I can’t control what happens at daycare and how they respond to the behaviour. Is it unreasonable to ask the educators why they aren’t intervening before the situation becomes physical? I know my daughter, she would only lash out as a last resort.. It’s a tricky situation when we’re not there and just receiving second hand information, it’s not like we can do anything about it after the fact…

By: Jennifer

Jennifer — Sun, 30 Jun 2019 03:09:46 +0000

In reply to janet. What do you do if the other parent in the playdate isn't on board with this philosophy? My 3.5 year old was having a playdate with a friend who was about a year younger and was NOT into sharing his toys, which I know is developmentally appropriate. I sat and watched, ready to intervene if my daughter got physical with him, but otherwise "let it happen". His mother, however, would reprimand him constantly and punish at points, stressing all of us out. I tried to reassure her and tell her it's fine if he doesn't want to share, to no avail. Any suggestions for how to handle this in the future?

By: Liz

Liz — Fri, 30 Nov 2018 12:24:33 +0000

Hi Janet,
Ive been struggling with this lately. I have been taking my almost 10 month old to playgroups with mostly older kids. Half the time we encounter an older child who will snatch toys out of my defenceless daughters hands, sometimes repeatedly. My mamma eat response after it happens twice is to tell the child that there are a lot omits similar toys to play with and they shouldn’t snatch the babies toys, and I snatch it back. Is this ok? What can you suggest?

By: Danielle

Danielle — Wed, 14 Nov 2018 14:58:19 +0000

In reply to Jaime. I really hope you get a reply to this! My nephew’s favorite toy is whatever my daughter is holding and I don’t think it’s right to allow him to just take everything, thus putting her in a frustrated state that she can’t express or deal with yet. There is a 13 month age gap between the two of them. He also tends to plow right past her and knock her over. I’d have to sit right next to her at all times to prevent it. I’m almost dreading Christmas because I know he’s going to dominate the situation when it comes time to open any gifts.

By: Sarah

Sarah — Wed, 24 Oct 2018 04:46:19 +0000

In reply to janet.

I’m a big follower of your work! Sometimes I need more of an explanation breakdown so I can fully embrace a response. So…
– you made the observation…and then what? In my experience the 5 year old would physically over power the 18 month old and take what they want. The 5 year old learns they can take from smaller/weaker and get whatever they want. The younger can’t stand their own physically or cognitively since they are not at the same developmental stage as a 5 year old. What are they learning?
I’m all for kids learning to be resilient but it also makes sense to teach them verbal tools such as “when I’m done then you can have a turn” or “can I have a turn? (No) when your done I’d like a turn please” then allowing the child who has the object to feel ready and willing to give up the thing without feeling outside pressure (such as time limits and taking turns etc) what is the harm in that?

By: Serena

Serena — Thu, 03 Mar 2016 20:47:37 +0000

So when your child is the one who is getting toys taken away or having another child bully her verbally or trying to control their play. Do you just observe and let the child learn how do defend herself her own way? Or is it ok to give her the words to defend herself?