Comments on: The Hurt We Can’t Fix

By: Marcia

Marcia — Thu, 12 Jul 2018 11:23:58 +0000

In reply to Karen. I had a similar issue recently when we drove home from school and my almost 3 year old asked "what is in that man's hand"? It was a poster for a theatre show. He had a hammer in one hand and a gun in the other. I said "a hammer". Of course he wasn't going to let it go. He wanted to know about the gun. What is it for? Why is he holding it? What does it do? I told him it was for shooting, and that some people like to shoot at targets as a sport. Then a few days later he came home after visiting a friend with his nanny, talking about shooting people :-(

By: Vanessa

Vanessa — Thu, 12 Jul 2018 05:51:06 +0000

Listening to a child’s interpretation of an event is vital too as sometimes we project our own feelings onto a situation. Being open minded and asking open ended questions before adding our own labels based on our own experiences. I struggled the most with this when my relationship with my daughter’s father broke down. I was so hurt that he couldn’t seem to change his behaviour in order to continue our relationship and be there for our child. I was projecting my own abandonment issues onto her when she was in fact fine and just processing him not living with us as no big deal! I need to careful with any girl conflicts when as she is getting older too as I was bullied by ‘friends’ for most of my school years. I am hoping to help her cope with friendship challenges in a more constructive way and not just react emotionally when they crop up.

By: jojo

jojo — Sat, 19 Jul 2014 04:53:02 +0000

hey
my son has had an experience like that too

By: Sherra

Sherra — Sat, 12 Jul 2014 04:45:52 +0000

Excellent!!!! I appreciate Dads perspective!!! Forwarding to hubby.

Seriously I appreciate the honesty of your heart an openness to share this with us!

By: Aunt Betty

Aunt Betty — Sat, 12 Jul 2014 01:53:42 +0000

Great article! You can’t protect your children from everything. With our help kids are resilient and able to handle much more than we give them credit for. You learn to appreciate good times by facing tough times. Tough times also build a sense of compassion for others. As you can only have compassion when you have experienced a few bumps along the way. None of us escape childhood unscathed and the majority of us turn out to be happy productive adults.

By: Aunt Betty

Aunt Betty — Sat, 12 Jul 2014 01:44:41 +0000

In reply to Karen. Hi Karen You can't shelter your child from all that is bad. When he is old enough to read that newsagent may not even be there. Focus on enjoying "now" and take the negatives as they come up. Try not to let future worries rob you of the joy you can have right now.

By: Michael

Michael — Fri, 11 Jul 2014 21:35:10 +0000

That’s such a complicated question, such a common concern. Obviously, we can’t shelter them always and forever… maybe the best we can do as parents is be available for our kids to help them filter the bad stuff so they aren’t trying to sort if out on their own. Encourage them to ask questions etc… Otherwise, (in my experience) a child will assume that those extreme incidents happen every day, in his/her neighborhood, and that he/she is vulnerable.

By: Karen

Karen — Fri, 11 Jul 2014 21:06:45 +0000

Im struggling with my son reading the newspaper banner/board each day. Words such as horror, murder, rape, even one the other week about baby being killed by its father in huge print outside the newsagents. I have considered asking the newsagents to consider removing it? We dont have a tv or newspapers or radio in our house (mostly because they dont interest me) but we walk past this newsagents every day so im worried the impact it will have on my innocent boy (2 years old) once he learns to read. What do you think?

By: Michael

Michael — Fri, 11 Jul 2014 18:13:54 +0000

Black sheep – that’s funny. And I envy you not caring. I think I do care, but as my older kids have flourished, I realize that for the most part I/we are doing the right thing. And so do many of the parents — who remain our friends — that may have been put off by our quirky parenting way back when.

By: Alexia

Alexia — Fri, 11 Jul 2014 09:59:51 +0000

Great post from ‘DAD’! Thank you for sharing your experience which makes a lot of sense and hits home.
I am also part of the ‘black-sheep’ parenting group. I call it black sheep because I get shunned for a lot of my parenting quirks but you know what?
I DON’T CARE!!!!!
keep it up !xxx