My brother was a lot like that as a child – if he was upset, touching him would make him even more upset. He just couldn’t handle the tactile stimulation when he was trying to deal with intense emotion. My advice would be to just stay next to your son, at a distance that doesn’t make him more upset, and let him know that you’re there for him and that his emotions aren’t going to make you get angry with him or leave him all alone to figure them out. When he starts to calm down – when he feels validated and understood and the emotions are settling – then he might be really glad for your presence and want a hug.

You’re so welcome, Sherra

Thanks and love back, Katerina!

I am with you, Lisa! I see it as a great honor to be the one children can cry with.

Thank you, Brie!

That sounds fine to me, Sarah. The key is our intention…and I believe it’s important to reflect on that. Am I touching my child because I’m impatient or to genuinely, patiently connect?

Guilty, up until about a year ago. It’s been hard to re-teach that emotions are not a tool to get what you want. We’re owning our errors with her, but I admit that her expressions can be quite intense and difficult to tolerate in the moment.