Comments on: Helping Your Baby Learn to Sleep (Guest Post by Eileen Henry)

By: Susan Butler

Susan Butler — Mon, 27 Aug 2018 23:09:37 +0000

Hello,
I have just come across your beautiful website and started on the article about sitting a baby up… I have been reading various articles since.
First of all, thank you. They are beautifully written, sweet, short, simple.

I have a wonderful little baby girl, she is 5 months today and I have been struggling to get her to self soothe and fall asleep on her own, ( I did it once or twice). We had a lot going on since the birth, emergency c-section, having to forcefully wake her up to force feed her when she dropped weight, moving house, severe weather changes, no furniture to now having furniture, Moses basket, to co sleeping, to moses, to mixed etc etc.

I can easily do it through walking/rocking/dummy or breastfeeding, it doesn’t take me long at all really. However, to just place her in her bed and let her fall asleep, it’s too difficult. I don’t personally want to let her cry it out until she’s too tired to stay awake. I also don’t want her to always need me to do this for her as it won’t help her in the long run and also my knees are starting to hurt a lot. I know she’s tired from the cues she gives me, yawning, eye rubbing, little ‘singing to herself’, and the resting on my shoulder ready to sleep.

She has a bedtime routine she enjoys. I start at 5pm with a feed, then bath time with lots of singing and playing (I usually go in with her). Then finish the little bit of her bottle after she’s in her pjs, which she usually likes to drift of by, if not then I will rock/walk her until she’s sleepy. She likes to fall asleep by 6:30 when possible then she barely wakes up at 7 for a small cuddle of if she has a little gas, then sleeps until 10-11pm then again at 1 she barely wakes, finally at 4 for a feed and then she’s up by 6 or in good days 8-9.

The problem is when she cries she doesn’t seem to calm herself down and it can last some time before I can’t bare it. She really goes all out and I hate seeing her that way. I hate letting her cry at night as I don’t like her getting too worked up before sleep.

My biggest thing is that I’ll be going back to university in September and really need her to be able to learn to self soothe and fall asleep on her own. I started her routine at 5 to allow her to fall asleep on her own from 6. My mum will be helping with the baby and I hope she won’t get into bad habits (she got into her dummy from my mum for a little time).

I would love a response and suggestions as I don’t want her sleep to be disrupted or mine. I have so many questions and no idea who to ask. I just want my baby to be okay whilst I go to university. Most of all I want her to have a good routine and good nourishing sleep.
Thank you!

By: Sallie

Sallie — Wed, 03 Aug 2016 11:40:52 +0000

We have a 19 month old who does not fall asleep without nursing or sometimes in the stroller (obviously not a viable bedtime option). How do we work with a child of this age learning the Falling skill?

(Haven’t checked your website yet so that’s next…)

Thanks, Sallie

By: Diane

Diane — Wed, 02 Mar 2016 17:38:40 +0000

My 23month has a hard time sleeping and being the first child, it’s my mistake to rock her and till now we rock her to sleep.. During the day nap and also night. How do I slowly change her sleeping habit to be more independent? Appreciate a detail method 🙂 thank you .

By: Mia

Mia — Sat, 16 Jan 2016 16:59:33 +0000

In reply to Anna.

Hi Anna, I had the same exact issue with my first born. He was nursing very frequently at night for a long time and I knew I needed to make a change. Then I ran into this blog post http://drjaygordon.com/attachment/sleeppattern.html
I followed his method when my son was around 14 months (I tried earlier but it didn’t work) and he was night weaned in three days, and never nursed again at night. Give it a read and see if it’ll work for you.

By: Chloe

Chloe — Sat, 16 Jan 2016 12:37:04 +0000

In reply to Heidi. Heidi I am not sure that many 9 week old babies can self-soothe. Maybe a rare one, but not most. With older babies I believe you can teach/encourage them to do this, but it is generally not an easy process. Our 7 month old was exactly the same as your baby. I know there are some babies who can drift off peacefully by themselves. Some babies are sleepers and some are movers and shakers! I bet yours will be open, bright, alert and curious! Best wishes to you.

By: Emme

Emme — Sat, 16 Jan 2016 11:14:26 +0000

In reply to Anna. I'm in a very similar situation with my 22m old so would also be interested in any gentle solutions.

By: Sarah

Sarah — Sat, 16 Jan 2016 02:09:26 +0000

Wow! Just as I was attempting to walk, rock, shush, nurse, give a paci, hum, sing, and sway my almost 5 month old to sleep I wondered what Janet might have to say about sleep issues. I finally laid my wiggly but tired baby down in her bed and sat down nearby. I listened to her wiggle around, hum to herself and vocalize and resisted my desire to intervene and ‘help’. Then she became still and quiet. I peeked at her and she was out! Then I read this article and it reassured me that this phase will pass and I should keep working toward helping her fall asleep on her own. I really wish I’d known all of this with my now 2 and a half year old! Thanks for sleep advice that for once is neither harsh or urgent but reassuring, encouraging and realistic! I’m saving this to share with a friend who is about to be a mom!

By: Simona Kellar

Simona Kellar — Tue, 24 Nov 2015 19:02:52 +0000

In reply to Eileen Henry.

Hi Eileen,

I have a 12 month old, who is having difficulty with sleeping in his own bed. We moved out of state (new environment). He started walking at 11 months. And in said to myself, we better start a ‘new’transition until he’s 1. When he was 3-4 month on and off, he would sleep in his own bed. Now he won’t go down until he’s nursed to sleep but in my bed. We don’t mind him sleeping with us but I’m not ok that we continue it. Please help.

Thank you,

Simona

By: Heather

Heather — Sun, 19 Apr 2015 21:13:30 +0000

In reply to Stacy.

I found some great tips here:
http://babycennter.com/how-to-get-your-baby-to-sleep-through-the-night/

Something like checklist.. might be useful, so I thought why not post it here :-)?

By: Audrey

Audrey — Thu, 12 Mar 2015 17:56:14 +0000

Can anyone direct me to advice about sleep training twins (15 months old)? I feel like we’ve tried everything. Bedtime is great, both babies go to sleep (in the same room) with little to no crying ( we had to work on this but now it’s great and one of my favorite times of the day). The problem is that they wake throughout the night, sometimes it’s one, sometimes the other, sometimes at 10:30 sometimes at 4:30 sometimes at 1:00, there seems to be no pattern. I can usually get them back to sleep with rocking but the second I put them in their crib, its screaming and crying that will not stop, eventually waking the other, sleeping, twin. So, to avoid waking the sleeping twin I will normally take the crying twin to bed with me and nurse. I’m ready for this to stop. Naps are still an inconsistent mess. As soon as I try to put them in their cribs they cry and cry until I pick them up. I feel like if I could work with one at a time I could make it happen but that is not always a possibility, most of the time I am home alone with them. We can always get them to sleep in the car and if I don’t have an hour to get them settled and asleep I feel like the car is the only solution and I want this to stop as well. Any advice? Websites? I’m completely frustrated and exhausted, its really taking a toll on our lives. I might also mention that we co-slept (unplanned) until they were 9 months old. It seems that I have created a huge mess. Most of what I read seems helpful but for younger, single babies. Any help is very welcome and appreciated.