Comments on: You’re Not My Mommy

By: Erin

Erin — Tue, 01 Sep 2015 16:56:33 +0000

Thanks very much for this post. I also wonder how to apply these principles to toddlers. My son is 2.5, and we have had the same nanny 2-3 days a week since he was 8 months old. She is wonderful and he has always done great with her. But recently he has been resistant to her when I am around. He pushes her away, says “No!,” and tries to insist that I do things for him, such as getting him dressed. He has also begun to resist leaving the apartment with her when I am home. Once they are on their own together, they do fine. What can I do in these situations? I am not only concerned for him, but also for our nanny because this behavior is a bit embarrassing for us both!

By: Megan

Megan — Fri, 10 Jul 2015 23:12:40 +0000

What about a toddler that seems to get angry or yell at the sitter. He is very strong willed and she is quiet and not very assertive. He seems to steam roll her and yell at her when she talks or tries to play with him. He is great with his school teachers in a more structured environment as well as family.

By: janet

janet — Thu, 02 Jul 2015 14:35:52 +0000

In reply to Virg.

Haha! Well, here’s one in that vein: https://www.janetlansbury.com/2014/03/go-away-mama/

By: Faith J.

Faith J. — Thu, 02 Jul 2015 13:48:50 +0000

When my son was an infant, he did not show a preference for anyone. He was content no matter what adult he was with, as long as his needs were met. It was only as he approached 12 months that he seemed to care if me or my husband were taking care of him.
Now grandparents are another topic: our son didn’t “remember” them (they live a long distance away), and grandmas were hurt and offended when he didn’t go running to them to give them a big hug at 1 or 2 years of age! So my husband and I got the guilt trip from them that we weren’t visiting enough. Now at almost 3 years old, he DOES go running to them with hugs and kisses. Different generations, different expectations, different views of child-raising.

By: janet

janet — Thu, 02 Jul 2015 13:22:29 +0000

In reply to Kat.

Hi Kat – I would definitely not stay away. Before you go to the hospital, tell your baby what will happen in simple terms…and how will go when you return. Here’s a post that might be very helpful to you: https://www.janetlansbury.com/2015/01/another-parenting-magic-word-and-7-ways-it-works/ Then, when she wants you to hold her and you can’t, calmly accept her feelings. “I hear how much you want me to hold you! I am sorry that I can’t right now.” Speak to her strength. Don’t be pitying. It is very healthy for her to express her frustration and any other feelings she might have. This experience will bond you even further. So, please don’t worry!

By: Virg

Virg — Thu, 02 Jul 2015 11:29:51 +0000

When I saw the title I was expecting to read an article about toddlers saying that to their mothers and how to deal with it respectfully! 🙂

By: Kat

Kat — Thu, 02 Jul 2015 09:25:04 +0000

I have to have some treatment that will leave me radioactive when I leave the hospital . I will not be allowed to hug or cuddle with me 11 month old baby . I am really worried that she will feel rejected me 🙁 I was thinking I might just stay away altogether till I can hold her again . Do you have any tips to help ?

By: janet

janet — Thu, 02 Jul 2015 04:34:51 +0000

In reply to Eliza. I'd say that you imagine the baby would love to be held by grandma, but you've noticed he or she needs a moment or two to get comfortable

By: Eliza

Eliza — Thu, 02 Jul 2015 04:03:01 +0000

What to say to an overly excited grand parent who wants to grab a baby without hurting their feelings too much?