Hi Izzie, I wouldn’t give him choices in a transition like that. Just take his (or pick him up) and calmly, confidently let him know (WITH your hand on his already) that you are going.

Hi Janet, what would you do if your child runs and you give 2 choices bike or carry back, when I go to pick him up he is physically hurtful and grabs as my face and hair etc to let him go.

Thank you so much, Sarah! Regarding your question… the first thought that comes to mind for me is to play these situations very cool. They happen repeatedly because they fluster us, so going in the opposite direction and making this a boring thing for him to do will ease the behavior. I wouldn’t ignore him though. And with the car seat (and maybe the diaper if you’re in the middle of a messy situation), I’d be prepared for this behavior and keep a firmer (loving, but firm) hold on him. But if he still does get away, I’d say something like, “Aha, there’s a runaway bunny in the car, very, very funny. I’ll just sit right here in my driver’s seat and you can tell me when you’re ready for me to help you in.” I realize that doesn’t sound convenient! but if you do this a couple times at least in all these situations, you will take the power and interest out of the behavior.

Please let me know how you like the book and thank you again!

Hi Janet, I spent 5mins on your website and have ordered your book! I’m very excited for it to arrive.

Wondering if you can help in the meantime with my son (2y, 3m)…
He often breaks free while I’m putting him in the car seat and runs inside the car escaping my reach laughing like he’s playing a game.

How would you recommend I respond?

He does this at other times too e.g. nappy, getting dressed.

Thank you very much!

It would be nice to see a response from Janet on this one! It happened today with me, at the park my 2.5yr old grandson ran we were playing him running to the tree then back to me fir a big swing,, which ended up in him bolting in a different direction , defiantly not listening ran out of sight towards a creek ! My heart was in my mouth !
He did it yesterday also we hit out of the car and he took off in the middle of the road running, I couldn’t keep up and I was terrified a car was goi g to come around the corner horrible horrible horrible ! What do you do ‍♀️‍♀️‍♀️
You said earlier Janet “ Safety is always #1, and when there’s an emergency a panicked response is unavoidable. ”
So I’m saying that what does one do ???? We were in a bit of parkland , it looked safe, I didn’t know there was a fast running g creek through some bushes ! So how do I get him to stop on a road ? And not be screaming at him like a crazy woman panicking !
He won’t get in a stroller unless you bribe him ! He will hold my hand most times, but I wanted to let him play in the park and enjoy himself ! I ended up in tears myself I was so shaken up !

But when your child runs in the street and get hit by a car.

Get a child leash

Hi, first I wanted to say how much I love your approach, I’ve been reading a lot of your articles and it really speaks to me as someone who was not respected as a child, and who is looking to parent differently.
I have an almost 2yo son, an older dog with arthritis, and a 3mo puppy. My son loves the dogs and wants to play with them all the time, but he is way too rough, climbing on my older dog, pulling on paws and tails, and grabbing ears too tight. He knows what gentle means, we talk about and practice playing appropriately, encourage toys instead of hands, kisses instead of hugs, but it doesn’t seem to be getting better and it’s a safety issue with our older dog. I don’t think she would ever bite, but has occasionally nipped as if she’s correcting a puppy, and it freaks me out. I think I react too strongly and, like you were saying with the running, it’s an easy way for my son to get a big reaction. Usually what happens is, I run over, grab his hands and pry them off of her (because he holds on with a death grip,) while telling him, NO that’s hurting her, you have to LET GO, and then explaining for the millionth time (while holding his hands because he’s trying to get back to her) how that’s not how we play. I feel like I’m being too loud and forceful, and I’m going to try a calmer correction, but I can’t be slow about it, for his safety and our dog’s, because her (surgically fixed, expensive) knees can’t take it. I’m not sure how to get him to understand that what he is doing is hurting her, or make gentler play stick.

I’m sorry you are so judgemental through ignorance of the child’s needs. Try offering help