First, did you do anything that you think upset them?” If the answer is positive, we go from there to try to correct my 4-year-old’s behavior. If the answer is negative, I will say, “what do you like when playing with who-and-who?” Then we go explore alternatives that either solves the issue itself (making them friends again) or finds new ways out.

Yes, he came home upset, but it is important to teach him how to approach the problem with tactics and strategies, breaking down what exactly is at core and what can be done about it to resolve it or make it better. His feelings at that moment became a specimen for him to examine and analyze, all of a sudden the negative emotions turned into something that sparks curiosity and willingness to tackle the issues at hand.

Recognizing our kids’ feelings is important, empowering them with tools that we as adults have is also very crucial.