Hi Jessica – If I were you I would want a lot more information. What are the teachers observing about him and his relationships with other children? Would they allow you to come and quietly observe? Can they help you to understand why your child is reporting the pushing, etc?

We moved from SF Bay Area California to Austin, Tx a month ago and my 4 year old had deep friendships and attended an incredible Reggio Emilia private preschool. Our move was a fast decision and Husband toured preschools (daycares) I had chosen as options and signed him up before we arrived.
What I missed was how sterile the environment was at this new school. I already knew we were losing the child led learning curriculum and was saddened but the schools here I found that were even close to this had year long waits. He now attends this academic focused day care that does 30 minute increment class rotations (art music, Spanish, STeAM, outside -but zero nature- ZERO as it has fake turf under playground surrounded by concrete for bike track and no trees anywhere nearby. )

Every single day morning amd at night before bed my son tells me he hates his new school
And he needs a new school. He says the kids are too rough here and they are loud and push him around. I’ve spoken to the teachers and I’ve given flyers out to parents and hosted donut play dates with a few of the kids on the weekends to try and make a friend for him. He doesn’t tell my
Husband these feelings. So H thinks he is just getting the best of my emotions.

I feel like we need to try harder to find a new school. But H thinks I’m just being duped Amd I need to stop trying to fix things for him and just listen to his feelings. How am
I supposed to respond when my son is crying softly pleading with me to not make him
Go back because the teachers are not nice and the kids are too rough?

This is so wonderful. Never had I thought of such perspective ❤️

Thank you, Nikki! Teens are not my specialty, although I learned a lot from raising my own. I don’t have training or professional experience in that age group. I have written a few posts that apply to teens, you can find them in this section of my website:https://www.janetlansbury.com/category/older-kids-teens/ Hmmm, but now I see that this is a wide span from grade school age through teen so you might need to go through…

Do you have a sense of the reason for your disconnection?

This may sound grandiose but you’re the reason I had another child. Your articles and podcast gave my anxious and perfectionist-prone brain a much needed break. I don’t have to “be” anything for my children other than present and it’s not my job to create a perfect, struggle-free life for them. Thank you for showing me that my girls were born strong and it’s nothing I have to force or fix.

I have been taking care of me more: respecting my own boundaries, which means I may be in the house, but doing my own thing more. My daughter will come in to see me, quietly and with blankie, to curl up next to me or to get in my lap. It is always a perfect time for me, too, because I had had enough alone time to feel full again.

She is coming to me to fill up and knows she can do this. I am safe. I am love. I am comfort. Your site softens all my edges for her to curl into.

Last night we were reading Lyle Lyle Crocodile, and Hector P. Valenti wrote that he does not like crocodile tears and returned Lyle. I casually mentioned that if she never stopped crying I would still love her and keep her forever. I found this opening to let her know I love All of her All of the time.

I have calmed our house down so these quiet moments can happen: the little stitches creating the large beautiful tapestry of her life with me.

I sincerely cannot thank you enough for your passion, compassion and commitment to children and those who tend to them.

How wonderful, Adonia! It truly is a gift to be that person for our children. You have built a relationship of trust and intimacy. Well done!