Comments on: Quality Time with a Teenager (Seizing the Moment)

By: Virginia

Virginia — Sun, 26 Apr 2020 18:26:23 +0000

When my children were infants and toddlers, we always “read” together at bed time. We continued doing this even as they grew into teens. They got to pick the reading material (or I would provide suggestions if needed). I read to each of them separately, so it became a time we would spend just with each other. After reading, sometimes we would talk a little about the book (if they wanted to) or anything else they wanted to talk about. Or I would leave if I sensed it was time to go. It was a wonderful time to connect with each of them and because they had my full attention and we were both relaxed, they sometimes brought up sensitive ideas or something that happened at school or problems they were facing. As they grew to adulthood, we eventually stopped the reading aloud at bedtime. Even today, my youngest son and his wife sometimes read aloud to each other at bedtime. If I take a driving trip with one of my adult children, the non-driver may read aloud to the driver. Not only is this a special activity on its own, but it opens and encourages line of communication.

By: sanja

sanja — Tue, 14 May 2019 15:09:40 +0000

In retrospect I always tried to give space to my teenage son and daughter to have a go at whatever they were striving for. Sometimes I could see that they bit off more than they could chew, but other times I saw them manage and grow as a result. I was always focused on them whenever I was around them. Not speaking much, observing, trying to get a feeling where they were regarding their emotions, activities, plans, etc. They eventually recognised my attention for what it was and sometimes acknowledged my opinion and sometimes not. Now that they are grown we are more connected than in those times. Probably normal but I am more or less happy with how it turned out.

By: Ron

Ron — Thu, 10 May 2018 05:06:32 +0000

So, I completely agree that it’s hard to connect with a teen and I look back at my life and try to remember how I thought of “lame old mom and dad” when I was younger. For the most part, they were just a burden and I feel like most teenagers think this way. The one thing that I’m striving to do with my nephew (he’s 13 yrs old) is to be the “cool” uncle and connect with him. I don’t have a teen yet myself, but I feel like this is a good precursor of things to come.

All that said, do you think the above advice still applies if it’s a teen who also works a part-time job? How do you still get the quality time with them?

Between school and work, they’re gone most of the week and it makes things more difficult.

By: Seren

Seren — Wed, 02 May 2018 13:53:24 +0000

No matter how much time we spend with out teenager, what matters the most is how much attentive we are to their desires. I believe in spending quality time with my kids. They feel happy knowing that I am pretty attentive to them.

By: The Parenting Zone

The Parenting Zone — Fri, 27 Apr 2018 20:58:42 +0000

Remember when my daughter told me to pretend not know her in the bus. That was the first time I realized she was becoming a Teenager.

By: Jennifer

Jennifer — Thu, 26 Apr 2018 06:10:06 +0000

It’s so great to hear your anectodes and thoughts on parenting older children. I have a three year old and I often wonder about the future and admittedly fear the teen years, as though it won’t be as rewarding or ill feel terrible most of the time, being “not needed.” But reading this I can see that I may feel sad at times and long for these precious times when he is young and his need is more constant and certainly more obvious, and I may feel frustrated in different ways than I do now. But that the idea I will not be needed is absurd! We just need to be still observing, still self aware, still available, still loving, still patient. Still respectful.