Comments on: The Single Answer to Many Common Parenting Concerns

By: Ana

Ana — Mon, 07 Feb 2022 14:35:25 +0000

Hi Janet. I totally get not swooping the kid up when there is no real danger and only because something upsetting happened, but in the case of the dog, if he is near the kid, smelling him etc, and he panics and asks to be picked-up, do you just refuse and kneel down. I normally never refuse a pick-up if I am physically able to. Thanks in advance, and as with all your articles, I am learning so much from you

By: Tordjeman

Tordjeman — Sun, 15 Nov 2020 20:10:27 +0000

Hi my name is Michael and I need help with my 3 years old child . He doesn’t not listen to me On thé spot. How can I get him to listen to me without always having to “punish him” or to make him understand the way be consequences ? He doesn’t behave this way with his mum or nany. Maybe we can talk on the phone or book a session together. Thanks for the help

By: Jo Taylor-Campbell

Jo Taylor-Campbell — Sun, 16 Aug 2020 18:44:30 +0000

So glad to have found this approach. Not only has it made me feel confident in parenting, as far as any new mum can be, but it has also helped me to reflect on what went wrong in my own childhood.

I’m really keen to understand the difference between active comforting and calm support. My baby is two months old and I often find it difficult to work out the difference between these two when establishing the right way to help her. Any article recommendations that could clarify this distinction please?

Thanks! Jo

By: Sha

Sha — Sun, 15 Dec 2019 22:31:16 +0000

Good on you mommy! I can relate to this. I too am so thankful that I found Janet’s site while my kids were still young. And it opened my eyes to break the vicious cycle and heal old hurts.

By: Jea

Jea — Tue, 23 Oct 2018 00:28:50 +0000

Thank you for these important reminders, Janet! I’m curious how parents can do this with regards to a child’s repeated crass expression or make-believe violent play. Would love to read an example of that!

By: janet

janet — Fri, 03 Aug 2018 16:17:34 +0000

In reply to Amity Hook-Sopko. !t's my pleasure! Thank you, Amity!

By: Amity Hook-Sopko

Amity Hook-Sopko — Thu, 02 Aug 2018 23:51:38 +0000

“If we make it our job to insulate our children from the normal disturbances of life, they never learn that they are capable of navigating them.”

Even as a mother to teens, I still need reminders like these. Thanks so much – always – for the perspective and encouragement.

By: Jane

Jane — Tue, 19 Jun 2018 14:47:34 +0000

My 4 1/2 year old grandson has gone to daycare for two years with mostly the same children. Yesterday, they had a birthday party for a little girl, and the Mom brought cupcakes for the children to celebrate. My grandson stood by the cupcakes and spit on them, ruining everyone’s birthday celebration. I am horrified and have no idea how this should be addressed. The parents have just one child and nothing crazy going on in their lives. They are upper middle class, and the boy is very fortunate to have parents who love him and each other, a beautiful home, toys, and a pool in his backyard. He has taken swimming lessons for two years and is an excellent swimmer. Why would he do this to spoil everyone’s joy?

By: Amanda

Amanda — Mon, 21 May 2018 01:01:30 +0000

Trust the process. Janet, you do such a great job explaining all of this. I am trusting my own process as a human being, too. I had a difficult childhood and it shows itself in my parenting, but I am becoming more and more conscious, so I take less and less out on my daughter (thinking she is the problem. No, she’s not the problem.) I yell waaaaaaaaay less, since finding your site and studying it frequently. I am less guilty and more proud. Anyway, …

My 4 yo daughter will act out the book Going On A Bear Hunt. Yeah, it’s bedtime and she’s doing this “splish sploshing” on the bed, but I decided to let go of worries about getting to bed “on time” and having time for my own movie or book, and read her the lines as though she were Viola Davis.

She had something she was scared of in her and she was working it out two nights in a row. Yes, tonight I was EXTREMELY relieved she didn’t have an issue to work out (it’s always only at bedtime), but I was loving how comfortable I was with finally learning how to go with the flow of who she is and how I, as her mother—MOST important person in her life right now—am understanding her own personal way of finding her way in this world.

Yes, she needs to work it out through her body and it looks really really messy a lot of the time. I am falling in love with the mess. I adore her and am FASCINATED by this growing human being and I am, finally, with your help, stepping out of the paradigm of child-to-be-controlled … my upbringing.

Thanks, as always!