Comments on: 5 Hints for Raising Twins That Will Help Every Parent

By: Tara

Tara — Mon, 21 Jan 2019 16:08:22 +0000

I have 22 month old twins & am having trouble with them thinking it’s funny to hit and kick me, which is especially frustrating at 35 weeks pregnant. I’ve resorted to smacking their butts, which I don’t like and recognize is not something everyone is ok with but I’ve been desperate. I’ve recently been trying to read more about it & most suggestions are to gently restrain the child and talk to them until the stop….2 problems with this….1-they just become more determined to hit me if I’m doing this and 2-if I’m restraining one, the other thinks it’s funny to hit and kick me while I’m doing that. I truly don’t know what to do but I’m clearly not doing it right!!

By: Mary

Mary — Tue, 04 Dec 2018 15:46:43 +0000

Thank you very much. Your sharing is really helpful for us. I am a new born baby mom and trying to learn everything which can helpful for my kid. You post give me lot of courage and thoughts.

By: janet

janet — Thu, 25 Oct 2018 13:29:24 +0000

In reply to Rebecca.

I so sorry you were disappointed and offended, Rebecca. That’s obviously the last thing I want when sharing my thoughts/advice. Regarding eating, is there a reason you cannot trust your child to eat what he or she needs without this being your responsibility? Children are capable of this if we believe in them. Reading more about the approach that I teach might be helpful to you. Here are a couple of posts about mealtimes:

https://www.janetlansbury.com/2010/01/baby-table-manners/

https://www.janetlansbury.com/2010/10/dodging-a-toddler-food-fight/

But not everyone agrees with it and that’s okay, too! Again, I am sorry that I offended and upset you. I wish you joy in your journey.

By: Rebecca

Rebecca — Thu, 25 Oct 2018 07:01:29 +0000

I was really disappointed and upset when I read this article. The first paragraph made me feel like an outcast, and that advice for raising multiples (which is really hard) is only worthwhile if singleton parents can benefit too. But I also felt this offered no practical support (other than accepting that crying is ok) for how to make twins feel valued and heard as individuals. And feeding time (the example you gave) is not a place where you can give them both your full attention (mine are 18 months and I am lucky one is a good and competent eater so I can focus most my attention on the other one who isn’t). I think you have no idea what raising twins is like and by glossing over the real difficulties of always having to divide your attention and be focusing on two babies simultaneously, you are undermining the issues in a quite offensive way.

By: Jude

Jude — Wed, 24 Oct 2018 18:36:05 +0000

Thank you Janet. I am the mother of 18 month old twins and the thing I have found painfully hard about it is both crying for me (whether for breastfeeds or to be held… or anything else) at the same time. RIE has helped with lots of aspects of twin parenting – not feeling pressure to entertain is massive! Yes spaces are a necessity! But trying to slow down and observe and wait is a constant challenge, often feeling pulled in two opposite directions. I particularly like the advice to give full attention to each in turn. This is a helpful reminder. Thanks!

By: janet

janet — Tue, 23 Oct 2018 13:39:58 +0000

In reply to Tiffany. Thank you so much for your encouragement, Tiffany!

By: Tiffany

Tiffany — Tue, 23 Oct 2018 13:02:35 +0000

Thank you, Janet! And please don’t be afraid to address specific groups of moms. The rest of us should understand that there’s always something to be gleaned from the advice, even if not directed exactly towards us. Moms of multiples need recognition and support.