Well done, Jackie! And thank you so very much for your kind words of support. That means a lot to me.

Happy to know that I’m not alone and also that intuitively going off what I’ve learned from you while my children were younger has been the correct way to continue. Thanks Janet for covering this and to the mom who wrote in!

I could have written this letter, and Janet’s response and Rose’s insight have made me feel so much better about this. I didn’t have the mommy-and-me aspirations, but I’m definitely struggling to not encourage my daughter to be more feminine. It’s so hard to just let them lead, but I am going to renew my effort to do so after reading this. Thank you!

Thank you so much, Christina!

I absolutely loved your response. This is a great article, and I had similar thoughts as you did, Rose Fox. I have an 8 year old girl with short hair, who wears boys clothes. When she plays games online, like Minecraft, she is always a boy character with a boy’s name. I will admit that I’ve had a few weak moments where I really didn’t want her to wear a bowtie to a birthday party, but otherwise, she knows that I support all of her choices. She gets called a boy all the time; she doesn’t mind at all unless it’s mean-spirited (some kids at school have not been very nice). I think secretly she enjoys being called a boy actually – I’ve caught her smiling about it. I have been fighting for her choices since she was 3 when decided to be Spiderman for Halloween (and was told by someone that she couldn’t because she’s a girl) and that she would rather be more like a ‘boy’ than a ‘girl’.

I really appreciate hearing from someone who is a trans person and has a trans partner. Your perspective on this article (as well as the article itself) is very valuable to me, and I’ll definitely be checking out the book recommendations. Thank you!

Hi Rose! Wow, thank you so much for sharing your experiences and insights, all of which I imagine will be helpful to this family. This thought occurred to me as well: “it could be the child saying, ‘I like people calling me a boy but I think it upsets you, Mom, so here’s my excuse for not correcting them.’” It never ceases to amaze me how aware children are of our feelings, even (or especially) those we try to hide. I share your wish for this child and parent to get all the support they need to continue to flourish.

Well said, Aren, and thanks for your kind words.