These are the comments I wish had a response. I’m going through this, though not with the weaning, and it’s very difficult to keep trying for years with a child that rejects you over and over.

Wow, what a way to dismiss a stranger’s concern

Seems like you married a terribly lazy and selfish woman who can’t do anything right. That’s sarcasm. It’s very hard to believe that she does absolutely nothing for your family, and that you do everything. I would be very resentful and checked out if I were your wife and made to feel that way.

I feel you deeply on this one. My son is 2.5 now and for nearly 5 months now its all about daddy. It hurts and it’s painful. All of the articles talk about the security and the emotions the child is going through. I honestly think it’s a pattern they fall into. No clue how it starts though and why the dad and not us. This article touches on it too although most of it doesn’t apply to us. One day my son has a blast when dad is not around but others when I go to pick him up from his nap all he wants is dad. So it’s sporadic. I feel like he plays with my heart sometimes as I think oh yes we are getting better and then boom he cries for dad as if he is at war somewhere far. He is also not into drama as this article suggests. He is a perfectionist and quite a gentle and kind little toddler. The dada preference started slow and mild and its full blown to comments like, grandma is here now and i dont need you anymore. We are both super hands on. We are about 60-40 around him ( me being the 60%). However, I strongly believe that it’s all about dads world. His side of grandparents (daddy phase started the same time they moved closer to us), his hobbies as they are both obsessed with golf, his language…. he is in dadas world and not mine. I’m the cook, the groceries, the driver and the housekeeper. Not to say that dad doesn’t do the hard work because he sure does. The difference is that I don’t get the praise or the love and dad does. The biggest blow is now after all these months when he gets hurt he wants dad not me. Before I used to say at least he comes to me for comfort and I even lost that. One thing that is helping us is setting boundaries. We say “oh im sorry you want dada but it’s my turn to put you to sleep. It’s my turn to feed, its my turn…. So we are addressing the need emotionally but still holding that boundary. I also made a visual schedule of things that dad does and things that I do. Little dude gets excited about it and he forgets about his pattern. Its only been a few days but it seems to be working a wee bit more. But yes he does light up and smile when he sees dad and never me. Dad is also the one who is constantly worried about him getting hurt etc. Im more chill and hold all those fears in my head. who knows what the psychology behind it is really. Every child seems to be so different. I understand the general theories but its not a formula that applies to every child. Its been especially hard on me as I have not seen my family for 20 months now due to covid and travel restrictions. Im also not working so all my eggs are in one basket and that basket seems to be rejecting me. Hang in there mama. When they are teens we will ground them for this! – SJ

Sorry to hear this, Bob. Sounds like your wife is mentally checked out and may need professional help to work on being present with her family.

Thank you, Marie! Yes, my advice would be the same for a preschooler/kindergartener. If you would like to provide more details I may be able to understand why this is happening for you.