Comments on: The Securely Attached Child and How to Handle Their Disrespectful Behavior (with Dr. Tina Payne Bryson)

By: Emily

Emily — Wed, 08 Mar 2023 02:12:23 +0000

This episode was so good! Thank you both so much!
I do have a question – what is the best way to respond when my child is upset about the boundary specifically being that we need to separate? A struggle we’ve been having lately, especially with my 5 yr old, is him not wanting to stay in his room (yes space) when I can’t give him my attention, like when I’m trying to get ready for us to leave the house or fix dinner.
So my choice is to hold the boundary or help him regulate his emotions (which I don’t always have time to do when we have a place to go or when I need to meet the needs of our entire family).
He has also learned how to open the gate that we have in his doorway. I’m not sure if it’s best to try to buy a new one? At this point I’m guessing he could quickly figure out how to open any gate like that. We are just needing guidance on how to deal with this situation and hold the boundaries when we can’t physically.
Your help and advice is very much appreciated!! Thank you!

By: Melly

Melly — Sun, 26 Jun 2022 15:32:38 +0000

Great episode!

I do have a question. My ultra-sensitive 7 year old will get more upset if I try to label her emotions. For example, if she said “I want a cookie” in a demanding tone, and I said “it sounds like you are upset right now,, I’m here with you”, she’d start yelling “I’m not upset! Stop saying that I’m upset!” and it might tip her over into a full meltdown. How can we show these kids that we see and hear them during those sassy/demanding moments, without aggravating the situation further?

By: Sandra

Sandra — Sat, 25 Jun 2022 07:09:16 +0000

Have you all ever heard the saying, “No one has ever, in the history of being calm, started to be calm by being told to be calm.”
Thank you for a wonderful podcast!!!!

By: Sandra

Sandra — Sat, 25 Jun 2022 06:48:53 +0000

I have always thought that the primary thing in early childhood education is to help a child learn how to want!

By: janet

janet — Thu, 14 Jan 2021 22:11:19 +0000

In reply to Verena von Vegesack-Semmler. Hi Verena! Why does she behave this way, in your view?

By: Yiska

Yiska — Sun, 22 Nov 2020 05:23:07 +0000

In reply to Sierra. From how I read it, it sounds like you ignore the demand for the moment and talk about how it seems they're feeling and try to help with that. For example child says "get me water, now!" Parent responds, "Wow! You sound really upset. Do you want to talk about it? Is it something I can help you with?" At which point the child is supposed to up and tell you everything that is going on and why they're acting that way.

By: Hollye

Hollye — Wed, 24 Jun 2020 08:22:44 +0000

In reply to Sierra. Hey Sierra! I’m just a parent like you, but I nannies for many years so I’ll tell you what helps me in those moments. I think maybe what they’re saying is that the most important thing isn’t whether you get the water or not, but taking the opportunity to emotionally connect with your child. So if your three year old daughter says, “I’m thirsty!” you can say gently, “Oh wow. You really yelled that you were thirsty. I’m busy making lunch, but if you bring me your glass I’ll get some water for you. Maybe you can hop over here like a bunny.” Or, “I hear you. You’re very thirsty. I’m going to finish folding these pants, and then I’m going to get you the biggest cup of water in the whole world! It might have a whole ocean in it! And some fish! And a whale!” Connect with their emotion then use gentle humor and imagination. You don’t want to drop everything and run to the sink, but you also don’t want to get into a silly power struggle over a glass of water. :-)

By: Sierra

Sierra — Sat, 18 Jan 2020 23:27:42 +0000

I’m still a little bit confused. What should I actually say/ DO? When my 3 (or 6!) year old announces “I’m thirsty”, or if they say something like “I wish I had some water” (passive aggressive there), or are demanding, do I get them water while talking to them about their tone? You say we shouldn’t make getting the water contingent on them asking nicely, but it still just feels wrong to get the child water in any of these above situations. I’m just confused. Maybe I need to listen again. Any suggestions?

By: Meredith Luksha

Meredith Luksha — Wed, 08 Jan 2020 20:37:29 +0000

Hello. I have the book. No bad kids. I’d like to watch some podcast with my husband. Where can I find those??

By: Alexandra

Alexandra — Wed, 08 Jan 2020 14:42:45 +0000

In reply to Verena von Vegesack-Semmler. This is exactly our situation as well. Can't wait to read a response. Our highly intelligent, sweet little girl also uses a rough, yelling, bossy tone more than we would like. She is 3.5 and very mature for her age.