Comments on: How to Help Your Strong-Willed Child Listen (Without Wounding His Spirit)

By: Roxanne Roehl

Roxanne Roehl — Thu, 10 Mar 2022 15:47:44 +0000

In reply to Becky.

Any advice for communicating with an adult child (late 30s) who says I often invalidate her. She struggling with depression and I know my questions about the help she is getting sometimes irritate her but I’m just trying to 1) be sure she is getting help and 2) encourage communication. She has self diagnosed herself with adult ADHD and is on a long wait list for a psyc evaluation. She has lost a lot of weight (and wasn’t overweight to begin with), has trouble sleeping … but is a strong reader. She has been married twice and had to close the cafe she had opened in 2019 due to Covid. (I helped her finacially) We live in the same town. She’s working a remote job currently.
I read your posts because I have a 21 mo granddaughter from my youngest daughter not the one referred to above.

By: Allisen

Allisen — Wed, 18 Aug 2021 03:02:29 +0000

In reply to janet.

Hi Janet,
Thank you so much for sharing your always helpful expertise! I have a three year old boy and 4 month old baby daughter. Our son has taken to screaming loudly (often “pick me up!!”) whenever our daughter is crying or falling asleep in order to shift our attention to him. Sometimes he’s so loud I have to leave the room to protect her ears, which probably makes him feel more insecure.
I’m trying hard to acknowledge his feelings of jealousy and general unease with these big changes, but I also feel like I have to protect my daughter and address her needs. It feels like he acts out to see if I will choose to comfort him over his sister. I’m at a loss as to how to show him empathy while still teaching him we all have to make room for this newest family member. I would really appreciate any advice you have!

By: Carolyn

Carolyn — Thu, 31 Dec 2020 01:28:06 +0000

Are there strategies you would suggest for younger children? Our 2.5 year old is very strong willed and doesn’t listen very well. Thank you!

By: Kayleigh

Kayleigh — Mon, 30 Nov 2020 06:58:18 +0000

Hi Janet,
Thank you for everything you share with us.
My 2.5 year old is high energy & also does everything we ask her not to do. She walks around with food & we are trying to teach her to eat at the table , hits others just does the complete opposite. I am feeling exhausted, nothing works talking nicely & even time out she just comes out. She used to bite children. Really my husband & i don’t know how to manage her. I hate going out because it’s always so chaotic & it’s so stressful.

By: janet

janet — Sun, 03 May 2020 03:17:48 +0000

In reply to Gerald. Hi Gerald - Sorry, I would love to be able to help, but these issues are beyond what I can address in a comment thread. Have you considered meeting with a family counselor to help you sort through these differences?

By: Gerald

Gerald — Sat, 02 May 2020 05:14:46 +0000

With this Covid-19 virus and school closures my 6 year old son has been acting out a bit. My wife and I have always been at odds at on parenting ideology, as there’s about a 20 year age difference between us, and its becoming a highly stressful breaking point with us, believe it or not as a child of the 70’s-80s, I’m a listen to my son and and talk to him, spend time with one on one, guy, not a go, go, go, you do it know guy. She’s a; blame his behavioral issues on the TV as a baby sitter person, while I sleep as I work nights. We both work full time, she 9-5, me graveyards.

She; she’s a threaten to take away toys, tv, and anything that he feels is a comfort to him, if he doesn’t do what she tells him to do, as a reproduction. I’ve always warned her about negotiating with him about prid quo, quo, when it comes to getting him to do what she wants. Lately with the whole school closures his whole world over being a normal kindergartener has been turned upside down. Apparently in his boredom while at home he’s been getting into, stuff, and acting out a quite a bit.

The most recent manifestation, is that he has been apparently been urinating and or defecating in down his heater vent. Tonight he urinated on his floor out over spite of his mother taking TV away at bedtime, when he wanted one more, one more, one more show…. not sure what to do with him after she finished reprimanding him and putting soap in his mouth until he admitted to doing it and why…

I, went in and talked to him about it afterwards, and explained my/ our disappointment with his behavior… and then read him his nighttime story… I asked him to go give his mommy a kiss goodnight and apologize…. which she didn’t apparently hear me ask him to do so, so she yelled at him to get back in his room… anyway thank you for any advise you can give, G

By: Becky

Becky — Fri, 13 Mar 2020 09:12:42 +0000

Thank you for this! As the mother of two spirited boys 18 months apart this feels very familiar. This week had been a tough one with energy and intensity levels going from 0-60 but after reading this and reminding myself to reframe some of my responses I am seeing and feeling the difference already. And the thoroughbred reference is everything, sums up my two little pocket rockets perfectly. Thank you as always for getting me back on track and helping me be the parent I want to be.