Comments on: How Do We Know When to Set a Boundary? https://www.janetlansbury.com/2022/04/how-do-we-know-when-to-set-a-boundary/ elevating child care Tue, 29 Nov 2022 23:16:34 +0000 hourly 1 By: Autumn https://www.janetlansbury.com/2022/04/how-do-we-know-when-to-set-a-boundary/comment-page-1/#comment-132422 Tue, 29 Nov 2022 23:16:34 +0000 https://www.janetlansbury.com/?p=21104#comment-132422 I really struggle with all this, both conceptually and in practice.

“ Err on the side of boundaries. You can always change your mind.”

This feels really counter intuitive to me. Like, if say yes, and then change my mind, my child still got some time with me. But if i say no, child freaks out, and then change my mind wouldn’t they just see it as “if i act out my parent will change her mind”??

]]> By: Jewel https://www.janetlansbury.com/2022/04/how-do-we-know-when-to-set-a-boundary/comment-page-1/#comment-131885 Fri, 10 Jun 2022 11:51:09 +0000 https://www.janetlansbury.com/?p=21104#comment-131885 Janet! I would love to have your insight about the same with my 2.7yr old daughter at bedtime. She never slept alone. She sleeps on her own room and mattress bed with me. Now that she is very verbal and can express what she wants, she “order” me a lit of things on how to help her fall asleep. She sleeps on my tummy and she will ask to out my two hands. I will put my two hands, but if she is not satisfied, she will order me again. The. i will say, “thats two hand my baby.” Then she will try to sleep on my arm then order me to sunggle. Then two hands then tight snuggle then put your feet on me. This will end to 30mins-1hr of this! And by that 30mins I am pissed off most of the time. It will end up into me getting fed off. I know Im setting boundaries when I say, Im here but no two hands. Or we can snuggle baby and I will help you sleep but she will cry anf will say, “mamá is happy. Mamá is not mad.” It seems like I created a trauma! And you are correct! It is an environment that is not good for us. How will I create bedtime boundary without creating more trauma for her.? Please I need your help. Im feeling like I created all of this because I cant regulate.

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