But when they go to school they have to be trained or pull ups
Is that a step back ??
After school and weekends he wears underwear . And rarely goes poo on potty
Very hard ???

I’m also curious. My girl is almost 5 and the two times we tried taking them away she just withheld for a week, only to poop in a pull up 5 minutes after it was put on. Our pediatrician also says to just wait and they will do it themselves. It’s been 18 months for us waiting so far.

****I should add….that when he does poop in his pants…..he then tells us he pooped and wants to dump it into the toilet to flush it. He gets what the goal is, and I can tell he is very obviously not comfortable with the feeling/sensation of having to poop. I just need to know I’m not failing him somehow.

My son is 3 1/2 and he seems to hold his bladder quite often. We “ignore it” and will only occasionally ask “hey buddy do you to go potty?” but then we take him at his “no” and eventually he goes on his own. Sometimes he will just hold it and hold it, dancing around, and go without us even asking. He will even come to us and say “Mama I have to go potty” so that we can help pull down his underwear. He will yell out sometimes even “mama!” as he dances around, holding himself, and making noises. I try so hard to be nonchalant, and ask “do you need help with something?” or “hey buddy, it seems like you’re trying to tell me something, how are you feeling?” and he says “no, i’m not” and dances around.

Then there is poop. He holds it, and when he really has to go, he will do the same uncomfortable dancing and yelling and then finally go in his pants. He doesn’t hide, and we don’t shame him. He told me he wants to go to school and we’ve expressed to him that the kids in school use the potty and that when he’s ready, we will do that. It’s so hard because he is usually a very expressive and open kid. He always tell us “Mama I’m not feeling so good” or “Daddy I’m having a hard time.” or “Sorry for getting yelling, I was having a lot of feelings”. Sometimes he will say as he’s running to the potty “I’m listening to my body, I can do hard things!”.

His very obvious physical discomfort pains us and as much as we try to ignore it and say all the right things, My husband and I are just at a loss. Please help. Do we keep going like this? I can’t imagine putting him in a pullup is a good idea, he loves his underwear and we’ve never had any issues with them.

and before you ask, because I know you will (big fan of yours)…. we do have a 9 month old baby (I can imagine you’re nodding your head right now).

I wanted to follow up and say, what I’ve learned from this is to ask him what is stopping him from pooping in the potty, and allow him a little more flexibility in where he goes, in order to transition from pooping in his pull up. He still sometimes waits until his pull up goes on at bed time to poop, but its gradually getting better. I think talking to your kid about what troubles them about the potty can help, and getting creative about the transition (i.e. pooping outside, or even in another toilet), can also help the child take small steps away from pooping in a diaper.

Hi Chaz, wondering how you progressed in this situation?

I am awful with bodily fluids and hated it when friends changed children in front of me! When it’s your actual child and they’re sad and dirty it really changes – or it did for me I just want him to be comfortable and it’s part of caring for him. Plus it’s all v mild at first when they’re newborns do you get used to it gradually! Having said that on the odd occasion something really gross has happened (poo in the bath ) my husband sorts it. You change loads when you have a baby – I wouldn’t worry about it!