Hi this is Rahul. We’ve a 2 month old girl child who just does not sleep without being carried or rocked and the moment we keep her down she starts crying this has become a lot of stress for sometimes she cries straight for 3 to 4hrs. Please can you suggest something

Maybe instead of moving to the spare room your husband could participate. After nursing could move into the spare room while he coaches your baby through the crying so that you aren’t the only one losing sleep. Parenting a baby shouldn’t be a one person job.

I love your article and we have been trying to do this with our 22 month old daughter before even reading it. However, she is a strong willed child and is having a really hard time falling asleep in the last weeks. we start our routine at 6:30 and she is taking until 10-10:30 to fall asleep and then she wakes up every 1 or 2 hours. she is extremely overtired and this is affecting all of us. I would like to help her but I apparently don’t know how and I feel like I’m failing as a mom. After we finish our routine either my husband or I will lay with her and talk and sing to her but she just jumps around scapes from bed or starts crying. We have problems to set a limit in a respectful way and keep her in bed, I think probably because we are so overtired and so stressed about the situation. Do you have any tips for us? what can I tell her to keep her in bed and help her to relax? I feel like we are all about to loose it and I feel so bad for my girl who is barely getting any sleep.

I am in the exact same situation as Hannah with my 3 month-old and would love to hear what Janet would advise, if she has a moment to chime in!

Now to sleep- we have bed shared since day one and I have fed her to sleep every time at night and for naps apart from the times she falls asleep while I am walking with her in the sling. This was working fine as a strategy until she started waking herself up being sick or burping because she couldnt stomach more milk and also my knees are starting to really hurt carrying her so much in the day. Also I am getting a bit fed up with lying in the same position all night for bed sharing and don’t want to be like a couple of friends who still have toddlers and pre schoolers who bed share and wake up for regular night feeds. So I decided to embrace the RIE approach to sleep. She wakes every three hours through the night to feed which is how often she feeds in the day- prior to RIE approach neither me nor her really woke up fully for her feeds- just as AP and LaLeche Leagues sweet sleep book states and dad never woke up at all. However she spends all night glued to me and lots of time sucking on my nipple after she has finished feeding. So last night we tried new approach where I feed her and then when I recognised she’s sucking for comfort I unlatched her and gently placed her in her co sleeper cot whilst whispering to her what I was doing. Each time- 9pm, 12 am, 3 am and 6 am she woke fully when I placed her down and it took her an hour each time to self settle with LOTS of full blown crying! I spent the hour acknowledging her feelings etc but it was so hard. A couple of times I picked her up as she was crying so hard and she burped- I never normally have to burp her at night as feed in side lying position. In the mean time my husband moved into the spare room as for the first time since she was born her crying was keeping him awake. Am I doing the right thing- am I missing anything? Should the transition be more gradual – my husband suggested this morning unlatching so she doesn’t comfort suck but letting her stay by my side for a while first? I would love to have your advice!

Camille, as I mention in the post this is not a “technique”, but rather a way of perceiving and communicating with your child. I would focus on listening to and accepting your son’s feelings. It sounds like you may be trying to talk him through or out of them…and he very likely senses that. So, accept, allow, nod your head, let go and let the feelings be. It is always healthy for a child to release feelings.