Comments on: Solving Toddler Sleep Issues with Sleep Expert Lisa Sunbury

By: will

will — Wed, 24 Aug 2022 02:23:36 +0000

In reply to Esther Owens. Hey, this is exactly what i was looking for. bedtime comes. routine is consistent. baby goes into bed. as we go to leave "no i dont want you to go", we reassure, and leave. then she cries, and screams, if she does sleep, when she wakes she comes into our room. in my heart i think i want to sleep with her, but my partner, and this rie movement, advises against that.

By: Esther Owens

Esther Owens — Sat, 19 Feb 2022 21:49:30 +0000

What do you mean by “she can still call to her mom if she needs her and her mom can respond”? When my son cries for me to stay in the room he’s telling me he needs me. Do I leave and come back immediately as he’s crying for me still? Do I give him a set amount of time that I will leave for and then come back and check on him? How do we balance letting your child express their emotions and being there for them as a safe place (like during daytime tantrums) and holding the boundary of leaving during bedtime/nap time so he can fall asleep on his own?

By: Jill

Jill — Thu, 27 Feb 2020 14:08:28 +0000

In reply to Amanda. I agree. I have read alot of articles and heard podcasts and have found so many guidelines from Janet to help our day-to-day struggles with an 18 month old and 4yo. I think my responses to them have been triggered by lack of sleep and I wish it was not so. But I totally disagree with a 'cry it out' solution at bedtime or night. Research shows that this is harmful for the child's development. You would never leave a child crying during the daytime, why should it be any different at night. Especially if the child is afraid or just needs us close. So I stay tired, and happy, knowing that my kids feel safe. I was left crying when little and still remember feeling very very lonely and alone in the world. I do not want that for my kids.

By: Katherine

Katherine — Tue, 22 Oct 2019 15:30:01 +0000

Would you recommend this for an older child too? I am having similar issues where my almost four-year-old cries for us not to leave every night and has drawn out bedtime to an hour and a half. He used to be a great sleeper, but seems to be going through a difficult time now, and I’m not sure how to help. I usually end up going and checking on him multiple times, but maybe I’m making it worse by not setting a clear limit that bedtime means bedtime. We used cry-it-out when our kids were babies, but it feels different at an older age. Thanks!

By: Natalia

Natalia — Thu, 15 Aug 2019 19:54:28 +0000

In reply to Jessica. Just wondering why you took her pacifier away so soon? According to our pediatrician and several other professionals I have spoken to, a child should let go of it on their own at around age four. Maybe she just still really needs it?

By: Ln

Ln — Mon, 10 Jun 2019 17:59:40 +0000

In reply to Melody. I was surprised to read this as well. I sleep with my 3 kids at night until they fall asleep but it can take hours to put them all to bed. Some nights this is okay, but other nights i need the time to myself. Can you please share the resources that worked for you? I would truly appreciate it! Thank you

By: Amanda

Amanda — Fri, 10 May 2019 19:44:43 +0000

Cry it out – wasn’t expecting that from you, Janet!

By: Melody

Melody — Wed, 19 Sep 2018 03:53:57 +0000

There is so much that I love about the RIE approach and your work specifically, Janet. However the area of sleep and RIE is something that I find repeatedly disturbing to my deepest sense of what is appropriate for babies and small children. Of course we’re all free to make our own parenting decisions here and I respect alternate points of view, however I felt compelled to share the perspective that there are other ways to be with our children’s sleep that very much reflect trust in the individual child. I feel there is a more mutually respectful approach possible than was offered in this podcast by Lisa Sunbury. Lisa’s perspective is not what I understand Magda’s approach to be (as was also referenced during the podcast), but rather an interpretation based on culturally common asumptions about the rights and responsibilities of patenting that unfortunately don’t translate well at all with the known neurobiological development of small people. Thank you for the opportunity to reflect on this topic. I am grateful we made different choices for our son.

By: Jessica

Jessica — Tue, 01 May 2018 18:47:47 +0000

Hello,
I found many parts of this helpful but I really need some suggestions as well. We stopped giving our 2 year old her pacifier a couple weeks ago and since then she has stopped napping and has much difficulty falling asleep at night. She has gotten to the point where she is (expectedly) resisting the naps so much that she will take her clothes/diaper off in the bed. Then I’m repeatedly going in there trying to dress her. I know she’s not ready to drop the nap because in the afternoon she is SO tired she falls and hurts herself and does things that wouldn’t normally happen when she used to be rested.
Jessica

By: Rena

Rena — Tue, 24 Apr 2018 16:23:26 +0000

There’s mention of confusing a child. It’s my personal opinion that all that talk is confusing to a child (especially at 21 months). All they know in the middle of the night is that they need to know that an adult/person that cares for them is in very close proximity. They haven’t developed the reason or logic capabilities to understand why their person isn’t responding to that specific need. It’s quite disrespectful to to see this from their perspective and respond to it accordingly. I don’t see the harm in simply letting the child sleep closer to the adult. My husband and I remind each other that this is a short time in the span of our lives and it takes ample nurturing to help build a confident enough child to sleep on their own, especially in a separate room. I’ve heard from multiple other parents that it’s how they also get the best cumulative sleep (to sleep close to their little one). But, of course, to each their own. There’s no one way, but sleeping together with young children is also the way most of the world does it (and those without huge houses full of multiple spare bedrooms as we have in the U.S.) and also how our ancestors raised children so it can’t be too terribly off course.