Comments on: Separating (with Confidence) from Your Clinging Child

By: Juliana Schwartz

Juliana Schwartz — Mon, 30 Mar 2020 03:38:34 +0000

I have a 9 month old who is going through a super clingy stage. While he’s not talking yet, I’m sure he can understand a lot of what is happening. When do you think is too early to implement a strategy like this?

By: Jessica

Jessica — Sun, 29 Mar 2020 07:39:43 +0000

Hi Janet ,

Thank you for this article ! My son just turned 3 and I’ve been struggling to get him to engage in independent play for awhile now. He does great at daycare but when home with me he demands my attention and that I entertain him 24/7. If I do tell him I need to do a task then a few minutes in he gets mad and starts acting out so I have to give him the attention. How do you handle the behavior after you set the boundary ? Behavior includes grabbing and throwing things off the counter he knows he shouldn’t touch, launching toys across the room, slamming the fridge open and shut etc. Thank you !

By: Nicky Brunskill

Nicky Brunskill — Sun, 29 Mar 2020 07:14:50 +0000

Wow I love your article and viewpoint! Would you also apply these rules with a clingy 20 month old? He has a 2 month old sister bear in mind.

By: Sue Denym

Sue Denym — Wed, 26 Feb 2020 01:23:08 +0000

I’ve got a clingy 3 year old. It seems to the point of obsession or addiction on his part. Any thoughts?

By: Anna Anderson

Anna Anderson — Tue, 07 Jan 2020 20:17:43 +0000

Hi Janet,
I am reading all this in desperate hope of some help with my daughter who turned 2 a month ago. She’s always been very clingy and mummy needy but it’s been gradually getting to an impossible level. She won’t even let her own father near her, hold her or even look at her (unless on her terms of course!) I am a prisoner to her it feels. I try to explain things like “I’m making dinner right now but will play after” but she will go absolutely ballistic. If a (loved and trusted) family member tries to take her to play or comfort her she gets herself so wound up to the point of retching. She won’t stop until in my arms. After a long cuddle she will snap out of it like nothing happened. I’ve never known anything like it and I feel like I’ve done something very wrong somewhere (or that she’s a demon!!)
I have a 6 year old son who was clingy but not to this level.
It’s very very frustrating for the whole family and I am becoming resentful of both her and my husbands freedom for example. People say it will pass but it’s just getting worse. I’m considering nursery or a childminder as I can’t cope any longer but I’m also worried she will be traumatised in this situation. She’s been looked after for half or sometimes whole days by her grandparents and used to be fine until recently, she won’t even go to them now.
She is sooooo stubborn and knows exactly what she wants and makes constant demands. If she doesn’t get it she can also be violent and gets into a rage. She hits and scratches her brother if he dares to come near me. We don’t let her away with it and the boundaries in this area have definitely worked a little but she still won’t let me out of her grasp- literally.
Any suggestions or words of wisdom would be much appreciate. I’m going a little crazy!

By: Kristina

Kristina — Wed, 27 Mar 2019 15:11:12 +0000

Thank you for this! What age do you recommend starting to use this method? My son is 11 months and although I’ve always planned on using this method he stills feels a little too “young” for it in my eyes but I also don’t want to put it off too long.

By: Sarah

Sarah — Fri, 28 Dec 2018 03:11:29 +0000

In reply to Neba. Babies cry because they belong with MOMMY not anyone else. Why does our society not realize this?! Why do we treat mothers like men sent off to work then hire women who do not have better paying career options to do the job of mothers? Why isn't mothering your OWN children valued?!

By: Neba

Neba — Sun, 20 May 2018 18:59:27 +0000

Hi Janet! Thank you for this article. I have question similar to this. I have recently started my 8 month old daughter in a daycare. I am not working at the moment but plan to soon. I could postpone my work for couple of months more but ideally don’t want to. The nursery itself is lovely and the staff is very dedicated. There is 1:1 baby to carer ratio and we have started her on half days to begin with. However, my daughter cries a lot when I leave her (which I know a completely normal) – I guess I am hoping she will get used to this in a couple of weeks but my questions really is am i doing long term psychological damage to her by leaving her to cry in the nursery at this young age? Looking forward to your response! Thank you for reading.

By: janet

janet — Thu, 29 Mar 2018 16:41:20 +0000

In reply to Marian. Yay! I'm thrilled and thank you so much for sharing with me, Marian! I needed that big boost today!

By: Marian

Marian — Thu, 29 Mar 2018 15:22:34 +0000

To say Thank You for this post would be an understatement. Our day is going beautifully because I am being true to me with your help. I thank you thank you thank you!!!

Have a great day and know you are deeply appreciated.