oh, sorry. I posted the same question on youtube and just copy pasted it.

Your daughter sounds like me when I was a young child. Sometimes I said no even when I really wanted the acknowledgement of my upset feelings. (I didn’t grow up in a home that accepted negative feelings so no comfort would be given in the moment or later.)

So for my daycare children I sportscast and add, “When you are ready for help with your angry feelings let me know. The kids always approach me in a few minutes. It takes some of us time to process what happened and the accompanying emotions. There are also times you want to just experience the negative feelings before being soothed.

Sounds like you are going about accepting and helping your daughter with her feelings in the proper R.I.E. way.

WTG!

It has to be so rewarding for you Janet to know you are making a huge difference in shaping the relationship between children and parents.

I know it is for me. Is there a certification program to be a R.I.E. Educator/Facilitator ?

I love it, Urvashi! Well done, and thank you for sharing! x Janet

Hi Sherra! Awww, thank you. I’m thrilled independent play is working so well for you. It’s kind of a miracle, isn’t it? The no-need-to-entertain aspect of RIE was my first big A-ha! (I tell the story in my post Blue Sky Thinking.) I really resonated with the reflection Jinny shares about play in this post. Whether I was observing my children’s self-directed play, or in another room overhearing it, it always brought me such deep joy. This is a phase of parenting that does end, unfortunately! But I still get a rush out of observing infants and toddlers inventing play every week in my classes.

A million times, yes, Melissa! “I attribute this to never forcing her to share when she was young, and really letting her explore those give-and-take interactions with other babies. She never learned to focus on who gets what toy, and instead really grew in her social abilities.”

This aspect of RIE has been so hard to get across to parents through my writing… It’s so much easier for parents to see this week to week in the classroom! Babies and toddlers are seldom as interested in the toys as they are in trying to engage with the other child! And even if they do want the toy, they are far more capable at working this out then most adults think. We are the ones who teach them about the importance of “stuff” — “taking” and “sharing” and “giving it back”, etc., and sometimes from a very early age. And then our interventions undermine our children’s confidence in these situations and obliterate precious opportunities for social learning.

Thank you for sharing!