Comments on: Supporting A Child Who Has Differences

By: janet

janet — Fri, 24 Aug 2018 13:31:30 +0000

In reply to Jemma. Hi Jemma! Thank you for your kind feedback. I'm thrilled that the message helped and I wish you joy in your journey!

By: Jemma

Jemma — Fri, 24 Aug 2018 09:44:06 +0000

Thanks Janet. This is really helpful for my family and our 3 year old daughter who has a limb difference. It’s always the parenting heart to want to sheild our children from negative reactions of others. I love how you explain how kids often have a lot of self acceptance. This is gold for me…. “trying to fix that in any way is going to give our child a less accepting message and lessen their self acceptance. We are so powerful with our children — what we think, how we perceive things, everything we worry about. All of that, for better and worse, is felt by our children. That’s why I wouldn’t see this as a deficit so much as a difference.” Thanks for all your wonderful insight and wisdom. My husband and I have followed your posts since our first born was 6 months and we’re so grateful we have been able to respectfully parent with the RIE approach.

By: Rick Ackerly

Rick Ackerly — Tue, 21 Aug 2018 18:29:28 +0000

all children “have differences” They each have their own unique set. In fact we are each infinitely complex and ineffable. Each of us has an obligation to the child and to ourselves to define ourselves in each moment as accurately as we can–that of Course includes the boundaries that each moment requires–qnd then keep at it, and don’t give up even when you get tired.

By: Hannah

Hannah — Tue, 21 Aug 2018 03:48:08 +0000

Wow Janet this is exactly what I needed to read! I’m struggling to accept my three year olds anxiety. I’m not really sure what to say though, because I don’t want to put words in his mouth as he’s not at the point of being able to articulate what feeling he has exactly even though he’s very verbal. Is it ok to say “do you feel nervous?” Or “you look worried can I do anything to help?”. And suggest doing breathing or ask if wants a cuddle? Its not just usual cautiousness he is showing high anxiety, not playing in a new setting for about 2 to 2.5 hours. Or playing if there’s no children near then jumping away and sitting on my lap if even a small child comes to the same area. But not consistently showing these behaviours sometimes being completely extroverted and talking to strangers. I don’t really understand him but he’s often anxious in indoor places, noisy places, sucks his fingers and bites his hand.

Could an example be, he’s come to a playgroup and isn’t joining in and says he wants to go home over and over again. I could say “ I hear you want to go home and you don’t feel like playing right now.” ? Or giving suggestions on how to relax as we would with an adult?