The struggle will come when snacks are involved. (Health-ier junk food-anything processed, as we eat mostly whole foods) my 14 month old and 3 1-2 yr old are both are not picky eaters, we did BLW, and we generally keep junk food out of the house. Sometimes we’ll have ice cream as something special but my question is we resort to saying “no you can’t fill up on ice cream we want your tummy to feel good so let’s eat our veggies first.” Then it turns into eat 5 more bites then you can have ice cream. Ahhhh just don’t like where this is headed with a power struggle and back and forth! No junk food at all? I know they’re going to be around it and just want them to be able to make healthy choices even when “junk” is around but realize a little guidance around it is essential right now. Any thoughts? Thank you and love your work.:)

Ps. We’ve coslept as a family since my oldest was born, breastfed both. Breastfeeding was just super natural thing at night, and have definitely breastfed while half asleep almost all of the time, but have never heard of a “dream feed” from the angle “to get them to sleep longer or almost a consent issue yes? It’s been more they would wiggle and feel for mama, and I would just respond to them, nurse a bit and go back to sleep while mama doesn’t have to get up or really wake either! I guess how could they be sleeping all the way if they were successfully nursing? Just reassurance…”mama is still there it’s safe and I can go back to sleep now?” Surely that can’t be the same approach you think? Let me know your thoughts!

Hello. I have a 19months Old son And he still lives on breastfeeding. He only eat fishtics and some meat. Is this still normal? He drinks in the night a lot. 4 Times i guéss. At daycare he ate a little bit better but not like other toddlers.

Hi Carla – I would do less entertainment and just allow the focus to be on food and connection. There doesn’t need to be conversation at all, but I would be 100% available because children feel the difference. Children are not very good at multitasking and we want them to listen to their bodies at this time, ideally.

So glad I came across your suggestions for mealtimes. Will implement this with my 2-year-old today! I do have a question about kids who are able to open the fridge. My toddler has figured this out and will bring things to me, like yogurt cups or start eating an apple. Should I put those back and tell him to wait (and allow for the emotions to happen, if that upsets him), or give him the autonomy to eat, since he’s signaling that he wants to eat those, just ask him to sit in his seat? Thanks so much for all the education you’re providing!

We have some common preschooler eating issues (refuses to try new things, distracted during meals, etc.) but the one that causes huge frustration is when she doesn’t eat enough at dinner and then tells us she is hungry….at bedtime. In the past, we have sometimes given her really small snacks (like some apple slices or carrots) when this would happen just to avoid a meltdown but over the past months, we have tried to institute a “kitchen’s closed” policy after dinner/dessert. Tonight, it happened again. We did eat dinner a bit earlier than we normally do but we usually allow her yogurt or something little up to an hour after dinner. Tonight, she didn’t ask for her usual yogurt and since we were busy with activities, we forgot to ask if she wanted anything else. Come bedtime…she says she’s hungry and when we tell her (yet again) that it’s now too late, that we always encouraged her to eat more at dinner & she must now wait until breakfast..a huge tantrum comes on. I actually don’t doubt that the hunger is real but is there a way to navigate this whole situation? We don’t seem to be doing it ‘right’ or well at all. Would appreciate any insight or tips! (She’s 4.5 by the way)

Hi Elizabeth – What else is going on in your family? Any changes? Transitions? Stressors?

I have a three year old and food and mealtimes have never been much of an issue for us. I’ve always very much tried to stay away from coercion, distraction etc to get her to eat and trust her to listen to her body when it comes to food. However, recently we’ve encountered a mealtime issue that I don’t know how to address… she won’t come to the dinner table. We’ve implemented a routine so she knows when dinner is coming next, and as I described above, mealtimes have never been power struggles for us before so I don’t feel like she’s tuning into anything that happens during mealtime. I think part of what is going on is that she is so immersed in her play that it is hard for her to leave it. Usually what we do (after having already given her a notice that “dinner is very soon”) is say something to her like, “We are going to eat now, please join us when you’ve finished up playing.” Usually, after just a few minutes she will come and sit at the table, but sometimes she will not. Is there a different way you would recommend to handle this? Sitting down together for dinner is like a family value for us and something non- negotiable, but I also can’t force her to do it.

Thank you so much, we are so grateful for all your work and the richness it has brought to our family.

Elizabeth