Comments on: No Bad Kids: Questions about Tantrums, Mealtimes, and Cleaning Up

By: janet

janet — Fri, 29 Sep 2023 22:48:47 +0000

In reply to Rose. Hi Rose—Are you not able to confidently and kindly remove something from your daughter's hand? It's only a power struggle if we are tentative.

By: Rose

Rose — Tue, 26 Sep 2023 22:13:45 +0000

As far as stopping the child from throwing food and taking the food out of their hand, does this not create another power struggle? When I do this my 19-month-old tries to pull the food back and laughs or smiles and finds it to be a game. Then I feel silly playing tug of war over an apple slice.

By: janet

janet — Sat, 29 Jan 2022 03:03:05 +0000

In reply to Sarah. My pleasure! I suggest safe enclosed play spaces where children, including babies, can be when they are done eating. It's a lot to ask of them to wait at the table. This is why Magda Gerber famously said, "Children are ready to eat but not to dine."

By: Sarah

Sarah — Thu, 27 Jan 2022 21:00:08 +0000

Hi, thanks for this episode. Wondering how to best enforce the mealtime boundaries when others (me, dad, other siblings) aren’t done eating. We take 2 year old’s (or baby’s) food away, then what? He has to stay at the table with us for 30 more minutes while we eat? This is especially difficult as we have a 1 year old who is a very messy eater, so we don’t want her (or the 2 year old boy) getting up from the table, stepping in dropped food and smearing it all over the house. The other option seems to be to put him/her in their room, but that would feel like a punishment…
Help!

By: Lydia

Lydia — Tue, 19 Jan 2021 15:50:17 +0000

Thank you as always for your practical examples, it really helps to clarify things. I find my challenge at meal times comes when I say ok, you’re telling me you’ve finished, I take the food away and she cries to have it back. I find it really hard to take it away when she’s specifically asking for it!

But actually, thinking this through I think I’ve answered my own question (with one of your insights). This only really happens with me, not my husband, and guess which one of us has to be away for work for three days straight every week… I’ll be very glad when this job finishes in a couple of weeks!

By: Andrea Neviackas

Andrea Neviackas — Thu, 02 Jul 2020 23:41:43 +0000

I’ve tried the “let’s clean up together” approach with my 4 year old and it just turns into me nagging, him doing nothing and me cleaning up every last toy and everyone is miserable. How can I get buy in without sending the message we don’t help each other?