Comments on: Magda Gerber’s Gift To Grown-Ups – Parenting That Engages The Mind

By: Ask the Daycare Provider: Advice for Respectful Parents – Acorns and Marigolds

Sat, 02 Mar 2019 14:01:09 +0000

[…] One of the teachers on parenting that I admire most is Magda Gerber. After studying the parenting method she brought to the U.S., called RIE (Resources for Infant Educarers), a woman named Janet Lansbury created a blog about Magda Gerber‘s philosophy (which originally came from a pediatrician named Emmi Pikler). Here is what Janet wrote in her post, “Magda Gerber’s Gift to Grown-Ups”: […]

By: Sanya

Sanya — Mon, 07 Sep 2015 21:55:04 +0000

Brilliant post

By: Frances

Frances — Thu, 14 May 2015 21:31:31 +0000

Hi Janet, I have been avidly reading your blog and I bought your wonderful book before I even had my baby! She is 4 and a half months now and has always been a VERY loud baby who wants to be held nearly constantly. I know that you have said that sometimes what they’re used to becomes the need but I don’t feel this is the problem in our case as I have always tried to be mindful of giving her time and space to explore on her own. She seems to get very frustrated very quickly, as in after a few seconds, particularly about being put down on her back or if she is trying to do something that she is not yet able to. I feel I have a good intellectual understanding of RIE, but in practice I am finding it tough. Today I made an extra effort to stay present with her but not pick her up too quickly and to talk to her instead but she kept getting extremely upset and would only calm down when I picked her up and held her upright. I would then try gently placing her back down and talking to her calmly but she worked herself into such a hysterical frenzy. She eventually wore herself out and fell fast asleep with me holding her. This is pretty standard and I often end up having to carry her around in the sling, even in the house to get anything at all done. Am I pushing for too much too soon do you think? When she cries so loudly should I keep talking quietly to her even though she certainly can’t hear me or just quietly hold her? I guess I am finding it tough because I had these expectations of how I wanted to parent and I’m finding it a lot easier said than done. I have other friends with babies who are much calmer and more independent which I find slightly galling when I have been working so hard at it! I think I am pretty good at staying calm and a do feel I am following all the advice that I have read but she just doesn’t seem to be playing ball! Generally caregiving times are great and she is a very smiley baby but she seems to have these extreme changes of mood at the tiniest thing and I can’t seem to get her used to me leaving her alone for a second even if I am in the same room. Needless to say I am feeling a bit tired worn out and disheartened And would really appreciate any insights you might have.

By: Sean Saulsbury

Sean Saulsbury — Sun, 02 Jun 2013 01:16:09 +0000

This is one of my favorite posts by you, Janet. I feel like these points are not emphasized enough in some of the RIE teachings. I think a lot more parents would be interested in RIE if it were pitched to them from this angle (not that the other angles aren’t important too).

By: Mandy

Mandy — Fri, 02 Nov 2012 09:26:17 +0000

I just love reading your posts every chance I get. I’m learning so much more about my beautiful 20 month old Eli by taking a step back and enjoying just observing him at play instead of intervening and trying to direct. I’ve learnt to trust him and his actions, and communicate with him in a much more respectful manner. At the moment Eli spends Monday to Wednesday with my inlaws and, although wonderful with him, they constantly hover, have the tv on for him, and try to direct the play by showing him what to do. play time outside is filled with them saying ‘no’ and ‘careful!’ and following him one step behind. Should I ask that they relax a little, or will Eli learn that its different at Nanny and Poppy’s but still develop into a ‘self-confident baby’. I do not want to offend them in any way as they are helping us so much by looking after him while I return to work out of necessity, but I also don’t want Eli growing up as both my husband and I have – afraid of new things and how to express ourselves.

By: janet

janet — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 13:38:57 +0000

In reply to Nikki Jefferson. Wow! Sounds great, Nikki. Enjoy!

By: Nikki Jefferson

Nikki Jefferson — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 13:34:32 +0000

This has been my intuitive way of raising my children. I never knew it was a “philosophy” until I heard about the movie THE OTHER F WORD. Thanks for the affirmation Magda Gerber! As a grown-up semi-punker, my children (12 & 10) are the most well-mannered, verbose and internally directed children I know. I look forward to the teenage years – I’ve enjoyed each age better than the last. I’ll continue to observe them and gently direct them into their God-willed destiny!

By: Nicole

Nicole — Fri, 13 May 2011 01:08:36 +0000

It’s funny that you would post this today. My 6 month old son started crawling a few weeks ago…

For a while, my poor little guy could only move backwards, and he would cry because he was trying so hard to get to his toys. The harder he tried, the faster he moved in the wrong direction. I would try my best to encourage him him to keep trying (all the while wanting to just fix the problem by bringing the toys to him). Then one day…he finally figured it out!! And now he is getting faster by the minute 🙂

When I took my baby to the doctor yesterday, she was astounded that my son had been crawling for a couple of weeks. I had no idea this was “early” because it is my first child. So the first thought that entered my mind was how that time that was so agonizing for me, actually helped my son. All of Magda Gerber’s thoughts and teachings were really resonating in my mind. Thanks for the post and the reminder to relax and let your baby lead the way. I am sure there will be many more wonderful (and possibly agonizing) moments in our future.

The world is a whole new place when you see it through the eyes of your baby. Taking each moment for what it is and not what you want the next moment to be.

By: janet

janet — Thu, 12 May 2011 19:42:55 +0000

In reply to Bence Gerber. Now that makes my year...at least. Thank you, Bence.

By: Bence Gerber

Bence Gerber — Thu, 12 May 2011 19:05:14 +0000

In reply to janet.

Janet,
Your responses are so true to form, as if they came directly from my mother. Brings tears of joy to my eyes.
bence