We acknowledged feelings. We explained, we gave options… We’ve never had this sort of problem before. This style of parenting came very naturally and he’s always been very easy going, and has always taken his meds and stuff without issue. I’m at a total loss here. I’m probably more frustrated because I’m so unused to dealing with this level of difficulty.

We can swap the liquid out for tablets in this case – but what if we couldn’t?!

He has tonsillitis and scarlet fever and needs penicillin!

Aww, thank you, Linsey! I love the way you’ve expressed this. 🙂 Yes, “just let go of some of the negotiables” is perfect! I’m so glad you’re seeing progress and totally believe in you to continue doing so. This parenting thing is an ongoing process for all of us.

However, Aunt Annie’s Childcare, i dont agree that sweets should be a part of our diet! And the food piramid is a bit screwed up ( you should do some research on modern grains: especially wheat ; and on nowadays animal products , it’s scary but these things should be eliminated from our diets no matter how you spin it! )
Some things should completely be avoided! Like alcohol for ex. …

Here is an interesting article on sugar: http://nancyappleton.com/141-reasons-sugar-ruins-your-health/
so I’d conclude: stick to fruit and the occasional spoon of natural honey

I am however a bit off topic with this and I apologise.

Yes, I like those ideas, too!

Thank you, Deborah. I wholeheartedly agree about the importance of providing authority for our kids. If not us, then who? When all the power and responsibility gets dumped in our children’s laps, it overwhelms and even cripples them.

“Do you give her desserts? If so, the only respectful and logical consequence you might consider would be to say in a calm, honest, matter-of-fact (never scolding) manner, “I won’t be able to give you dessert today if you can’t take your vitamin”. Since sweets weaken the body, that would make perfect sense to you and to her (although she’ll still complain about it).”

I have a real bugbear about giving food an emotional or punitive dimension in the mind of a child. Eating starts out as a response to a vital body signal, hunger. When we give food an emotional dimension by using it as a reward or punishment in response to our child’s behaviour, we start to confuse children about their natural body signals and we encourage them to discount those signals and eat in response to their emotions upon acceptance or rejection. I truly believe that this is the beginning of eating disorders, from obesity to anorexia/bulimia.

I honestly don’t believe that there is any situation where food should be used as a reward or punishment. As for sweets weakening the body, ANY food given to excess will have a detrimental effect. Without an adequate amount of sugar in our diet we would die. It’s a matter of balance; if we stick to the food pyramid and give very small quantities of fats and sugary foods alongside appropriate portions of low GI carbs, dairy, proteins and roughage WITHOUT COMMENT, we can establish a healthy norm and defuse what can become a terribly dangerous situation for our kids in later life.

FWIW, my personal opinion about the vitamin pill is that it’s one of those battles that really isn’t worth fighting. And to muddy the waters of good nutritional habits by giving sweet food emotional value will, in the long run, have exactly the opposite effect on health from that which is intended by giving the pill in the first place.

I realise this is a bit of a diversion from the extremely valid point you were making- but hey, I’m trying to change the world here- one attitude at a time. ;D

Jennifer, thanks so much for your comments. Yes, it definitely makes sense to acknowledge feelings and empathize with our children’s discomfort, even if their reactions seem over-the-top. I’m a big believer in that. But when you say “lead with empathy”, I’m assuming you don’t mean saying, “Now we have to brush your teeth and I know how much you hate that”, etc. If we lead children in that manner, we don’t leave breathing room for them to approach the situation with a fresh attitude. If we set them up for misery, our children’s only choice is to remain miserable…to save face.

Definitely agree, Lorette. Thanks!