100% agree! Too difficult to commune all the time and not practical and not wanted by the baby either. Native cultures multi task while feeding so we can too. At some point during feeds I used to check in (my youngest is 10 so no longer in that space!) but not because I thought I had to but because it was simply natural to adore the child and appreciate the moment together. Carrying the baby in a carrier and feeding while out and about is so freeing. And it also builds bone density: sunshine (vit D), carrying the extra weight of baby, and breastfeeding is a combo to build strong bones and in our culture of women having weak bones we need to feel free to do this. Love all the feedback and comments 🙂 Empowering and informative on many levels.

Yes, we as women are being hoodwinked into these ‘mommy wars’ by guess who…?? The dairy industry! Women are very supportive of each other but the dairy industry wants us to fight because it benefits them and their profits so they fuel the fire – all conflict creates ambiguity around the facts and the facts indicate that their product is sub par. Kimberly Allers has written a great book called ‘The Big Let Down’ and points out that we women are just pawns in this HUGE well funded, vastly subsidized industry. Did you know that the dairy industry lobbies against maternity leave? Of course it makes sense – if women have to go back to work right away they are more likely to formula feed and more formula means more profits. They lobby government for subsidies for cows – not women or breastfeeding support.
Even the word ‘choice’ has been hijacked – the dairy industry uses it to try to convince women that choosing formula is the modern woman’s right and feeds into our beliefs of feminism and hard won victories in the working world. Mothers must unite against our common enemy – the dairy industry. We must support each other and understand that when making a choice on how to feed our babies we are making this choice in the context of manipulation by a well financed marketing army that breastfeeding advocates can never compete with. All things being equal, no mother would choose to increase the risks to her health or her baby’s health of the many diseases and conditions that breastmilk substitutes cause. But all things are not equal. We don’t have maternity leave, we are made to think that formula isn’t that bad, we are made to worry that breastfeeding will ruin our sexualized breasts (even more than pregnancy does!), we are made to feel insecure about our milk supply, we have to have nerves of steel to breastfeed in public in case of unwanted stares or comments, we are told co-sleeping is dangerous (in fact formula fed infants have a higher rate of SIDS) so feeding at night is even more exhausting – the list of tactics the dairy industry employs against us, for their profits, is never ending, subtle and effective. So every time we judge a mom for however she feeds her baby know that we are promoting the dairy industry’s agenda to create conflict and doubt and ultimately to sell more formula. When breastfeeding is not an option for whatever reason why isn’t there easy access to free donated breastmilk? Let’s lobby for that as well as much needed maternity leave and stricter laws for better breastmilk substitutes. Mom’s let’s stick together! Together we can make the meaningful changes we all need.

Sadly I feel that in our culture a choice of whether to breast or bottle feed is not currently possible. For women to make a choice they first need labeling information about the risks of formula and all the aspirational ads and misinformation regarding formula must be made illegal. And, at the same time, there needs to be much, much more free, plentiful support for breastfeeding women. In this environment and only this environment can we truly talk about women making a choice. Instincts and inner voices are drowned out by vast formula advertising budgets – let’s silence them so we can hear ourselves.

“Several minutes spent in communion with each other every day (bottle or breast) is more satiating, more vital to a baby’s well-being than hours and hours of nursing (or dry sucking) with a disconnected, multi-tasking parent… Totally agree! breastfeeding won’t do all the work for you!

The first two months my baby would want to nurse almost for as long as he was awake. I would not stare at him for the whole time, so i would use the chance to sew, eat and chat with my partner. I knew the whole time that he felt me present. He was comfortable because he was there with me. and I was there for him.

I was breastfed until 5 years old I still remember some of it. My mother worked full time and came back very late at night. She was a busy, and a little anxious woman. Whenever She came back my world was shiny again. She would pretty much ignore me and talk to my dad. but she would have some of herself for me and only me. I would nurse and feel her body moving while she talked. And some hair touching here and there. Man, that was heaven. the most beautiful part of the day.the most intimate direct and protective show of her love to me. (even if she didn’t notice) I don’t doubt that could have worked with a bottle. But I remember what it is like to be nursed by a mother who “ignores you” and for some families and their circumstances. that is worth gold.

Connection is all that matters, but if you are going to be too busy to connect to your baby, then breastfeed for sure baby will be glad.