Janet? My 2.5 year old has suddenly started doing this. I can’t hold her down. I’ve tried talking, allowing the feelings, offering her choices, agency in helping me, “When you’re ready “, etc. all in genuine good faith and respect. Nothing is working and we face this struggle daily. We don’t always have the time for this. What do we do? What is she trying to communicate with this? There are other defiant behaviors that we can handle much easier (teeth brushing struggles, for example). But I feel powerless with this one. And I know I am, but how do we get through this?

Slow down, be flexible, invite participation and acknowledge and allow ALL feelings. Also, respectfully hold him in place sometimes as need… “I need to hold you this way for just a moment so I can finish wiping… There. Ah, you didn’t like that!”