Comments on: Don’t Waste an Opportunity to Connect With Your Kids

By: Brittany

Brittany — Fri, 14 Jan 2022 02:45:21 +0000

Janet, what do you suggest for the times in which you need to connect more but are trying to rush through- example, diaper changes. My 2 year old fights getting dressed, always trying to get side tracked by asking for certain foods, and or just kicks and screams? I’m also at a loss for when she is asking me to do certain things and I try to tell her that I am tired and that we won’t be doing that tonight (I’m 7 months pregnant) but all she does is throw a fit. She will continue to throw this fit until I distract her with something else. Which bring me to my next point, how do you get grandparents and spouses on the same page as parenting.

By: Haley Kennedy

Haley Kennedy — Sun, 16 May 2021 11:02:07 +0000

Janet,

I am right there along with Farrah. I live in the Dallas area and would love to go to an educational class, however I have yet to find any close by. We are expecting a baby boy in July and I have been knee deep in your blog posts, books, and podcasts. I was recommended to read your book Elevating Childcare by a friend and I have never been the same since reading it! If you or anyone on this thread has any info on classes in Texas I would be so appreciative!! Also, it would be interesting to see if there are any RIE groups started in the area, if not I would like to look into starting one. Thanks so much!

By: Eva

Eva — Mon, 10 Jun 2019 08:28:38 +0000

In reply to Meagan. Its so nice and useful ideas. I agree with you Thank you

By: janet

janet — Tue, 02 Jan 2018 00:39:55 +0000

In reply to andreea.

Hi Andrea – thanks for sharing your process. We have different approaches to parenting. That’s okay! Just to clarify, I have not (and would never have) suggested “it’s okay to leave your child to cry to exhaustion without any support.” You must be misunderstanding my advice. Most of us have the impulse to hurry our child to a solution, because we are uncomfortable hearing the feelings being expressed. So, I work with parents to be aware of that and to trust that it is always healthy to share one’s feeling fully. That is true for all ages.

By: andreea

andreea — Mon, 01 Jan 2018 23:56:07 +0000

Hi,janet !
Connection with our children plays an key role in the parenting process.
I would like to clarify some aspects :
-when my daughter cries , I come next to her ,I comfort her , express the feeling she has and after that I try to find some solutions together . Synthetically :understand-support-find solutions.
Thing to clarify : I don’t think it’s ok to leave your child to cry to exhaustion without any support just for her to deepen her feelings .She needs to know that she has a suport and solutions can be found by her or using a team( asking for help) .
-I don’t agree punishments but there are some cases when the distractions are useful. I remember my father when I was 5 , I had a throat infection with Streptoccocus and I needed penicillin .After the injection , I was sad , not crying ( still) and my father was there for me to support me and show me the little butterflies (in the way home ) .I was so grateful for his support and for the fact that he was showing me the good side of the infection : I was connecting with him.

-While I buy educational materials , I keep an eye of what she chooses , I think that we have to do both things : giving our children the liberty to choose from the selected things .This is what parenting means , no?Listening your children,connecting with him but helping him to choose what can be helpful.Of course , our children will make mistakes( like us) , they have the right to do it but we can always be there for them to support.

By: Farrah

Farrah — Wed, 02 Nov 2016 14:17:09 +0000

Janet,

I am an avid reader of your blog posts and have bought several books of which to learn. I feel really connected to this concept and am trying to learn on my own for the sake of my 15 month old boy. I would love to actually take part in classes but I live in Dallas! I have been searching for RIE classes in my area but do not find any. I wanted to see if you happened to know personally of anyone in the area that teaches this?

By: Tania

Tania — Sun, 01 Nov 2015 04:06:25 +0000

Love this article, but I do find it very difficult when my 20 month old is having a meltdown because she can’t have her own way. Today she was crying inconsolably & when I tried to comfort her she pushes me away & punches me. How can I deal with that without trying to distract her from the situation? Are you saying that if I just hold her & say ‘I understand you are upset right now as you can’t do what you want to do’ that she will just stop crying & move on? So is it our job as parents to not let her being upset, upset us & just let her cry until she stops?

By: Jen

Jen — Tue, 04 Nov 2014 01:27:06 +0000

To your points about crying and emotion…what are you thoughts around crying at bedtime/naptime because they don’t want to go to bed. She insists she isn’t tired but I KNOW she is and will lose it if she doesn’t nap. After going into her room to check on her and seeing her playing with her toys, I tell her she needs to lay down under her covers. At that point she starts crying. I ask her to lower her voice and she says, “It’s not a mistake to cry.” Very true and broke my heart a little. I certainly don’t want her to think she can’t cry or express her emotions but with 2 other sleeping kiddos, crying that boarders on screaming is just not okay. I explained this to her in a three-year-old way but I guess I’m just worried that I’ve done something to make her think she even has to remind me that crying is ok.

By: janet

janet — Tue, 15 Jul 2014 15:48:55 +0000

In reply to Jessica.

There is no reason in the world a 9 month old would want to be flat on her back for a diaper change… So only insist on that when there is no other way you can manage. Allow her to be on her tummy…and all fours (usually a great position for wiping). Even allow her to pull up on the wall to stand (if she is doing that and wants to). Be FLEXIBLE. She needs to feel more autonomous…

By: Jessica

Jessica — Tue, 15 Jul 2014 14:45:38 +0000

I have the same question as Katie regarding diapering my 9 month old. Sometimes it is all her dad and I can do to keep her on her back and get a diaper on. Sometimes she starts to cry and get upset as soon as I am putting her down on the changing table, before she’s even touching it. I would love to know how to connect better with her so this process isn’t such torture for both of us. I have tried similar techniques to what Katie mentioned. Thank you!