By: Martina

Martina — Mon, 08 Aug 2022 09:20:42 +0000

Oh, I need to read and reread this! I truggle with this do much with my oldest daughter. I can do it with the little ones, but I struggle with allowing my 8-yo‘s feelings. I will try scripts and stuff, but of course it does not work.
So yesterday I was so grateful to my husband. We came home from my sister-in-law‘s wedding. We had been working towards it for practically ever, helping woth preparations, sewing, then baking, planning, just looking forward. And then we came home the day after just before bedtime. The younger daughter started wailing and sobbing the moment we came in. „I don‘t want it to be over!“ I was able to deal with her just fine, but when she had pretty much calmed down the big one started. Allthough she was perfectly peaceful, just sobbing I noticed how I was starting to struggle. The perfectly overtired boys were starting to lose it by this time and my husband took over our daughter. So while I was trying to help the boys to sleep which took absolutely forever too my husband sat and sat with her and really did „validate“ her emotions, by the time I was back she just needed a kiss and was asleep. This morning she is perfectly happy and cheerful. I see I really need to work on my own feelings, but I am so glad I can rely on my husband. When I mentioned how impressed I was he looked astonished. „No really, she just needed to cry, that was obvious!“

Comments on: Validating Feelings Isn’t Working

By: Martina