Comments on: Two Words – A New Parent Survival Mantra

By: Aunt Annie's Childcare

Aunt Annie's Childcare — Sun, 09 Oct 2011 02:01:37 +0000

My very first blog post was about my parenting philosophy- and here’s the first sentence of that philosophy:

“To me, parenthood is a gradual process of letting go.”

Snap! 😀

By: Tanya

Tanya — Sun, 09 Oct 2011 01:07:40 +0000

Hi Janet,

I love your blog. I am not a mother but am a childcare provider..I watch two little girls (2 families) in their homes. I love what I do and so enjoy observing their development and how they are just “in the moment”. I learn a lot from them everyday and feel so enriched.

I had a moment last week that I think fits into the “letting go” category and I posted about it on fb:

It struck me (again) earlier today just how observant, clued in and curious children are. I was taking a walk with Mia (21 mos old) and at one point she wanted me to carry her part of the way…we were just going around the block. So I picked her up and started walking again. We were both silent and at one point I looked at her and she was studying me, my face, my expression, something. I looked away for a couple minutes and then looked back and she was doing it again. I can’t explain it…it was just a beautiful moment..we were just savoring being together in that time and place. It was truly lovely.

I guess what I mean by letting go in this situation is that I didn’t feel the pressure to entertain her or even actually engage actively with her..we could just “be” with each other and it was incredible.

Cheers.
Tanya

By: janet

janet — Wed, 13 Oct 2010 19:11:34 +0000

In reply to Kathleen (amoment2think). I have faith in you. And it's always easier to get the perspective needed to give it up with the second... even easier with the third!

By: Barbara

Barbara — Mon, 11 Oct 2010 19:56:59 +0000

Nicely said, Janet.

We can only hope that the many new mothers have someone to say ‘let it go’ to them. Today. Having a life partner and some life experience helps but as we both know, does not completely stave-off the feelings of inadequacy for the publicized mothering of others. Frankly, I no longer believe in ‘superMom’ (fairy)tales. With honesty, something in their lives is not getting enough attention.

By: janet

janet — Mon, 11 Oct 2010 16:13:34 +0000

In reply to Kari. Kari, Thank you. I'm so glad you're enjoying your baby.

By: Kari

Kari — Mon, 11 Oct 2010 13:57:43 +0000

Almost instantly, my baby (now 18 months) taught me more about life/priorities than I had learned in the 27 years prior. I am so glad I found your blog when she was a few months old– it has really helped me gain perspective. Thanks again, Janet!

By: Kathleen (amoment2think)

Kathleen (amoment2think) — Mon, 11 Oct 2010 00:38:16 +0000

Janet, I totally agree with this. But I also think it is the hardest thing to try to do. Especially with the whole world (or at least what feels like the whole world) telling you to do the opposite as a parent. The messages we get as parents is that we should try and do it all. That babies need x, y and z to be happy and healthy and if you don’t give that to them… This is something I truly struggle with. I know I can be a control freak, and so the concept of letting go (and slowing down) is not an easy one for me. 18 months in and I am still learning. Hopefully by the time we are ready to have a second baby I will be better at it!

By: janet

janet — Sat, 09 Oct 2010 00:25:45 +0000

In reply to Miven Trageser.

Yes, Magda Gerber encouraged us to slow down — that’s a great one to remember. I often caught myself rushing with my babies, stopped and thought, “What’s the hurry?” Rushing was just habit. I still have to remind myself to slow my speech down with the infants and toddlers in the RIE classes.

By: Miven Trageser

Miven Trageser — Fri, 08 Oct 2010 17:28:35 +0000

I use a different two word phrase that I think Magda Gerber recommended if you are overwhelmed by all the instructions and ideas and guidance you are getting:
Slow down.
I like it because it’s easy to remember and very forgiving.

By: janet

janet — Fri, 08 Oct 2010 13:04:07 +0000

In reply to Liz. Liz, thanks! Your mental process around letting go is very familiar to me. And as long as the dogs don't stage a mutiny, sounds perfect! I'm really glad that giving your boy opportunities for free movement and independent play is helping both of you. Providing him that time is extremely positive for his development, too.